주연/멕 라이언

 

아네트 베닝

 

이바 멘데즈

 

데브라 메싱

 

제이다 핀켓 스미스

 

내 친구의 사생활

 

출연/캐리 피셔

 

클로리스 리치먼

 

데비 마자

 

베트 미들러

 

갠디스 버겐

 

똥개 치워요!
어디서 더럽게!

 

작년에 세일한 구두 따위가!
물어, 쉭!

 

웃겨!

 

편집/티아 놀란

 

편집/티아 놀란
괜찮다, 아가
저런 여자를 두고

 

괜찮다, 아가
저런 여자를 두고

 

왕싸가지라고 하는 거야

 

의상/존 던
왕싸가지라고 하는 거야

 

미술/제인 머스키

 

다 왔다
1층부터 시작해 볼까

 

남은 쇼핑시간 :
4분 59초

 

까르띠에 향수:
꼭 살 것!

 

프라다 사슴가죽 백:
구두와 어울림

 

나르시소 로드리게즈:
샘플만 구할 것

 

마크 제이콥스 모자:
휴가용으로 적격

 

짝퉁!

 

25달러 이상 사시면
주름개선 크림 드려요

 

수술이상으로
효과를 보죠

 

내가 주름이
어딨다고?

 

안녕, 실비

 

내 잡지에 실으면
괜찮을 여잘 봤어

 

'막장 코디란 이런 것! '
칼럼에 딱이지?

 

어디야?
설마 쇼핑 중?

 

당연하지, 난 자격있어
새벽부터 일했으니까

 

토요일 근무가 딱 좋아
설치는 동료들도 없고

 

여긴 안 올 거야?.
지금 몇 시지?

 

메리, 지금 뭐해?
혹시 섹스중?

 

그럼 전화를 받았겠니?

 

거기까지!

 

네일 케어 받으러
가는 중이야

 

오늘 모임 몇시랬지?

 

12시 반이라니까!

 

늦지 마
너 없으면 불안해

 

내가 언젠 늦든?

 

그럼 그때쯤 보던가

 

안돼, 꼭 제때와!

 

- 어서 오세요, 고객님
- 개가 목말라해

 

탄산수로 먹일까요?

 

대충 줘
변기 물도 핥는 애니까

 

오늘 담당은 '타냐'예요

 

- 당신이 타냐?.
- 네, 앉으세요

 

설마 진짜 이름?
본명은 따로 있지?

 

긴 얘기면 관둬
나 바쁘거든

 

원래 아일린인데

 

팔자 피려면
이름을 바꾸라더군요

 

원래 '로니스'에서
일했는데, 아세요?

 

몰라, 촌동넨 안 가서

 

어쨌든, 이름 바꾼 날
가게에 리무진이 왔는데

 

글쎄, '마돈나'가
내리는 거 있죠?

 

나 1시에 약속 있어

 

한참 벙쪘는데
손톱은 엉망인거예요

 

그래서 제가 세계 최고의
매니큐어를 선보였죠

 

오른손!

 

직접 매니큐어를 만들어요
색감을 타고났거든요

 

커네티컷까지 가야돼
먼 곳이라구!

 

마돈나에게
'정글 레드'를 발라줬죠

 

다음날 스카웃됐어요
마돈나 추천으로요

 

'정글 레드' 어떠세요?

 

괜찮네

 

향수 코너 직원도
이걸 발라줬더니

 

촌닭 출신 주제에
유부남을 꼬셨어요!

 

바빠서 안 되겠어
수요일에 다시 올래

 

일정 확인하죠

 

세컨드 노릇도 힘들텐데...
남자가 유명하거든요

 

금융 쪽에서 잘나간대요
이름이 뭐더라...

 

어디 보자, 수요일...
맞다! 성이 헤인즈예요

 

설마 '스티븐 헤인즈'?

 

맞아요
수요일은 11시, 2시 돼요

 

수요일은 좀 그렇고
지금 받는 게 낫겠어

 

그러니까 스티븐이
매장직원과 바람이 났다?.

 

어쩌다가?

 

크리스탈을 보면// 척 알거예요

 

알았어, 나갈게!

 

이 집은 올 때마다
소름이 돋아

 

금방 챙길게

 

나 78번가 가게 앞에
주차했어

 

- 이따 말해줘
- 왜 까먹을까봐?.

 

좀 거슬리는 얘길
들었거든

 

오다가 앞차에 박을 뻔했어

 

에이프럴은 엄마 모자 주고
메이는 머리따는 거 가르쳐줘

 

다들 이모한테
인사해야지!

 

- 꺼져!
- 무서워!

 

속으론 좋아해

 

도라, 나 외출해요!

 

골 아프다, 아스피린 있어?

 

무슨 얘긴데?
내 가방 어딨더라?.

 

- 가만, 저건 뭐야?.
- 나 그림 그려

 

그림? 도자기는 어쩌고?

 

인형 만들기 수업은
또 어쩌고?

 

손인형 만드는 사람들
진짜 괴기스러워

 

너무 산만하다
남편은 잘 견뎌?

 

- 남편 집 나갔어
- 뭐야?.

 

괜찮아
8층 스튜디오에 살거든

 

너무 갑갑해 해서...
도라!

 

그냥 가자
정신 사나워!

 

- 도라
- 네가 운전할래?

 

무슨 얘긴진 몰라도...
친구 얘기면 하지 마

 

얘기 안 해, 얘
사생활이니까

 

아는 사람 얘기 맞지?

 

사모님
모유가 모자라요

 

착유기 챙겨갈게요
차에 꽂으면 돼요

 

됐어, 운전하지 마

 

우리 재뉴어리 잘 있었니?

 

됐다, 그냥 가자

 

루시, 가만히 좀 있어!

 

매기, 은식기는 전부다...

 

- 점심 준비요?
- 네, 점심

 

벌써 12시네?

 

여자 60명을 점심에 초대했는데
샤워도 아직 못했고...

 

제 세탁물 찾아오셨죠?

 

그럼요, 여기 아줌마 옷!
날 부려먹네요

 

정말 고마워요

 

개는 씻겼고
빵, 꽃...

 

그거 어딨죠?
내가 만든 장식이 이렇게..

 

프리지아 무늬 그릇요?

 

- 네, 어딨죠?
- 거깄잖아요

 

여기에 과자를 담을래요
괜찮겠지, 우타?.

 

어머, LA세차장 걸레에
성모 얼굴이 나타났대요

 

노벨상 주는 나라에서
온 사람이 맞아?.

 

거긴 스웨덴이죠

 

난 덴마크 출신이에요!
대니쉬 과자로 유명한!

 

- 엄마, 바빠?.
- 안녕!

 

독후감 숙제 도와준다며

 

아차, 깜빡했어
미안해

 

월요일까지야!

 

오늘 점심파티에
내가 공동 주최자야

 

내 교육이 중요해?
파티가 중요해?

 

그러게 숙제는
미리 했어야지

 

- 독후감은 우타가 봐줄거야
- 잘도 봐주겠네요

 

- 니콜 키드먼 엉덩이 처졌어!
- 나두 좀 봐!

 

알았어, 모임 끝나면
도와줄게

 

아니다, 끝난 후엔...

 

- 의상 스케치 해야죠
- 그래

 

기한이 늦었거든
게다가 비행기 티켓도...

 

- 찾아야죠
- 그래

 

그러게 미리미리 했어야지

 

엄마에게 무슨 말버릇이야?.

 

초콜릿 쿠키 먹을래?

 

안돼요!
5칼로리도 넘어요

 

- 칼로리 계산은 왜 해?
- 나 살쪘잖아

 

니가? 무슨 소리야
넌 완벽해

 

독후감은 혼자 쓸래

 

가서 샤워해요

 

살이 쪘다니...

 

참, 아버님이 전화했어요

 

휴가에서 돌아오시면
같이 점심 먹재요

 

정말요?
그런 적 없으셨는데...

 

중요한 일이래요

 

뭔지 알 것 같아요
사업을 물려줄 모양이에요

 

정말이지 이 순간을
목이 빠지게 기다렸는데!

 

맙소사!

 

루시, 당장 나가!

 

몰리, 침대 위엔
못 올라오게 하랬잖아

 

루시, 내려가

 

- 엄마?.
- 왜?

 

왜 엄마 스타일도 아닌
옷을 디자인해?

 

할아버지 회사니까
내 고객은 아니잖아

 

- 이건 뭐야?.
- 휴대용 커피 필터

 

마녀들이 몰려오는군

 

브라자끈이 다 풀려도
모르겠구먼, 나가요!

 

안 지워질 거야!
새로 산 렉서슨데!

 

지워진다니까!
자연산이잖아, 진정해

 

차에 모유를 쏟았는데
걸레 있어요?

 

그럼요
여기요

 

매기, 이것 좀
냉장고에 넣어줄래요?

 

- 저지방 우유 옆에 두죠
- 고마워요

 

맙소사! 너도 왔구나

 

밝은 곳에선 처음인데?

 

당근이지

 

- 안녕, 이디 클라인예요
- 나타샤예요

 

성은...?

 

그냥 나타샤

 

반가워요...
'그냥' 나타샤

 

수퍼모델이시다

 

그렇게 소개하지 말랬지!

 

- 액세서리가 된 기분이야
- 알았어, 안 할게

 

뭐 좀 마시러 갈래
내 얘긴 하지 마

 

욱하는 성격땜에
심리치료 받았어

 

왜 욱하는데?

 

다이어트 때문에

 

너도 너랑 맞는 남자랑
정착해야지

 

남자?. 됐어!

 

여자끼리 사귀는건 인정해

 

고마워요

 

남자끼리 사귀는 건
이해 안 되지만!

 

여자끼리 사귀는 게
훨 낫다는걸 넌 몰라!

 

길을 잃어도 당당하게 묻고
TV도 한 채널만 같이 보고

 

우유도 통째로 안 마시고
유치한 장난도 안해

 

오줌 멀리 싸기
시합 따위도 안한다고!

 

- 게다가 섹스도...
- 거기까지만!

 

느긋하게 불끄고 한단 말야
부럽지?

 

너, 손세차비 물어내!

 

그리고 알렉스
2번째 책은 언제 나오니?

 

빨리 내 잡지에
서평 내고 싶어

 

글쓰기가 그렇게 쉽냐?.

 

게다가 뉴욕타임즈가
극찬할 정도로 쓰려면

 

6년 전 일은
잊을 때도 됐어

 

책에 집중 못할걸?
쟤랑 사귀거든!

 

메리는?

 

센트럴파크를 위해
집을 공개하다니 멋져요

 

어머니도
여성회장을 오래했었죠?

 

네, 덕분에 저도
한자리 물려 받았구요

 

어쩜 완벽한 주부면서
자선사업까지 하시는지...

 

- 항우울제의 힘이죠
- 하긴...

 

밖에 샴페인 뷔페도 차렸으니
꼭 드세요

 

시간 맞춰 왔네?

 

나야 원래 칼이고
니가 맨날 늦었지

 

핸드폰 좀 치워라

 

많이 왔네, 축하한다

 

- 인맥 연결 고마워
- 친구 좋다는 게 뭐니?

 

- 뭔 일 있니?// - 뭔 일 있니?

 

- 없어
- 없어

 

왜 묻는데?

 

네 눈동자가 불안한걸

 

별일없어

 

시선을 피했잖아
숨기는 거 있지?

 

그런 거 없어! 너야 말로
어깨에 힘이 팍 들었는데?

 

얘기 안 하려고 했는데
아버지가 내게 물려주려나봐

 

- 사업을?
- 그래

 

- 좋은 일인가?
- 그럼, 당연하지!

 

일도 많아지고
남편도 반대할 테지만!

 

맞다, 토요일 오후인데
스티븐은 어디 갔니?

 

지난 한달 동안 밤낮으로
회사에서 죽치고 있어

 

일이 많대

 

정말?.

 

대신 내일은
베니스에 놀러가 있을거야

 

- 너 정말 괜찮니?
- 응, 배고파서 그래

 

뭐 좀 먹어야지

 

루시!

 

- 우리집에서 일해줘요
- 아니에요

 

- 명함 받아요
- 안 돼요

 

제발 그냥 받아요

 

탄수화물은 전혀 안 먹죠
몸에 전혀 필요없거든요

 

- 드레스 예쁘다
- 선글라스 멋지세요!

 

너 가져!

 

- 감사합니다
- 안녕!

 

뭘 그렇게 많이 먹니?

 

그냥 말해야겠다
어차피 알게 될 테니까

 

나 2인분 먹는 거야

 

- 맙소사, 이디!
- 못살아!

 

- 작작 좀 해라
- 벌써 몇 명째야?.

 

- 뭔 일 있어?
- 5번째 임신을 하셨단다

 

정말?.

 

아들 날 때까지 할거야

 

- 남자 질리지도 않니?
- 너희 둘은 몰라

 

몸속에서 생명체가
자라는 느낌이 뭔지를!

 

넌 알지, 메리?

 

다락에서 물건정리 하다가
'도자기'라 써붙인 박스를 봤어

 

내가 그걸 수집하잖니

 

근데 열어보니까
도자기는 없고

 

몰리 애기때 옷이
잔뜩 들어있더라

 

하나 집어서 만져보는데
자궁이 찡했어

 

그래서?
하나 더 낳기라도 하게?

 

별 생각 없었는데 좀 그래
더 늦기 전에 낳을까 싶고

 

왜 그래?

 

- 아냐
- 아니긴!

 

나 오줌 누고 올게
오늘만 10번째야

 

금방 올게

 

- 이디
- 왜 따라와?.

 

도저히 못참겠어
메리 문제니까

 

얘기하지 말라니까
메리 문제라고?

 

- 진짜 비밀인거 알지?
- 알았어

 

- 스티븐이 바람핀대
- 세상에! 어떻게 알았니?

 

네일 관리사한테
향수 코너 직원이래

 

- 향수 뿌려주는 애?
- 믿어져?

 

싸구려 향수나 파는
기집애랑!

 

어쩔거니?
메리한테 말하게?

 

미쳤어?
둘째 갖고 싶다잖아

 

매우 위험한 정보야
뜬소문일 수도 있고

 

손톱 칠하는 애 말을 믿니?

 

그럼! 걔들이 소식통이야!
꽃배달부도 그렇고

 

그냥 모른척하자
불똥이 우리한테 튈걸?

 

- 연애질도 금방 끝낼거고
- 하긴

 

게다가 입 무거운 사람이
망했단 얘긴 못들어봤어

 

나도 친구들 비밀 알지만
입 다물잖아, 꾸욱!

 

나도 그래

 

수건이 싸구려네

 

- 가자
- 그래

 

참, 오줌!

 

내가 미쳐!

 

정말 고마워요

 

최고였어요, 메리
출장부페 연락처 좀 줘요

 

다 제가 했어요
음식은 손맛이라잖아요

 

직접 요리했어요?
어쩜 그래요?

 

이거 트렌드되면
우리만 힘들어져요!

 

어쨌든, 성공적인 파티였어요

 

사장님 전화예요

 

여보, 다들 갔어
이제 집에 와도 돼

 

내일 일찍 출발하니까
오늘은 외식하자

 

여보...

 

여...

 

오래전부터 계획했잖아
우리 둘다 쉴 때도 됐고

 

안돼, 방법을 찾아봐

 

알았어

 

내가 여행사에 전화할게

 

베니스가 없어지진 않겠지뭐
집엔 언제와?.

 

그럼 먼저 잘게

 

그래, 안녕

 

망할놈의 직장에
정력을 다 뺏기고 있어

 

- 뺏기는 건 분명하지
- 실비!

 

- 엿들어서 미안!
- 괜찮아

 

와줘서 고마워
큰 힘이 됐어

 

괜찮겠니? 더 있고 싶은데
이디를 태워다줘야 해서

 

미안해, 애들 때문에...

 

난 진짜로 괜찮아!

 

망할!

 

네드, 좀 믿어줘요
독자를 무시해도 되나요?

 

우리 잡지 '캐쉐'는
다르게 나가야죠

 

잡지의 초점을
지적인 여자에 맞추자구요

 

톡톡 쏘는 작가를 쓰고
골빈 연예인은 표지서 빼고요

 

부수 올리는덴 좋겠지만
사장님은 절 택했잖아요

 

제가 알아서 할게요
1년만 시간을 주세요

 

메리 씨 전화예요

 

'랄프 로렌' 전화래요
다시 연락드리죠

 

아버님과 점심은 어땠어?

 

의류 브랜드
사장되니까 좋으니?

 

- 날 잘랐어!
- 뭐?.

 

아빠가 나를! 내가 딴데
정신팔려 본업을 잊었다나?

 

기가막혀서!
누군 좋아서 지금까지

 

할머니들이나 입는 옷을
디자인해줬대니?

 

내 사무실로 와
협찬받은 보드카가 있어

 

우릴 못믿는 남자들
욕이나 실컷하자

 

사장이 또 귀찮게 해?
너도 기분 드럽겠다!

 

왜 네 안목을 못믿는다니?

 

'불신시대'라는 말이
실감나

 

글발있는 작가를
빨리 기용해야겠어

 

하면 되지
망설일거 없어

 

싸랑해, 알지?

 

지금 내꼴 보면 도망갈걸?
머리도 엉망인데

 

너 가는 백화점 미장원에
예약 좀 해줘

 

거긴 가지 마
머리 다 망쳐

 

이봐요!

 

뭔 소리야?.
저런 싸가지를 봤나!

 

네 머린 항상 죽이잖아
지금 예약 잡아줘!

 

메리... 메리?

 

여자들이란!

 

난 메리 헤인즈예요
친구가 예약했을 거예요

 

네, 죄송한데
1시간쯤 기다리셔야 돼요

 

- 그럼 매니큐어라도?
- 확인해보죠

 

- 타냐가 비네요
- 잘됐네요!

 

- 뒤에 첫 자리예요
- 고마워요

 

타냐 맞죠?

 

타냐?.
여기로 가라더군요

 

어서 앉으세요

 

손 좀 볼까요

 

완전히 엉망이네요

 

- 욕실 타일을 새로 깔았죠
- 정말요?

 

안 튀는 색이 좋겠어요

 

과감한 걸로 해봐요
이 정글 레드처럼!

 

너무 화려해
이게 좋겠어요

 

분홍색이라...
그러세요

 

- 무슨 향수죠?
- 남편이 준 거예요

 

익숙한 향인데...

 

알았다! 내 친구 향수예요
향수 코너에서 일하죠

 

고품격만 팔고
취향도 고급이죠

 

이름이 크리스탈이에요

 

- 누가요?
- 향수 코너 친구요

 

돈 많은 남자만 사귀죠
이미 유부남을 낚았어요

 

"나르시소" 가 향은 좋죠

 

꼬신 남자가 맨날
경제신문에 나온대요

 

크리스탈의 먹잇감으로 딱이죠

 

이름을 자꾸 까먹네
엄청 유명한데...

 

반지가 멋져요!

 

- 고마워요
- 왼손에 껴야죠

 

친구들끼리 크리스마스 때
서로 선물했던 반지예요

 

맞다, 스티븐 헤인즈예요!

 

작업 걸 때 저도 있었는데

 

남자가 비싼 양복입고
진지 모드로 걸어왔죠

 

미남에 살짝 대머린데
아내 향수를 사러 왔댔어요

 

어떤 여자냐고 묻자
'비누냄새가 나는 타입'이랬죠

 

난 착한 남자로 봤는데
걔한텐 먹잇감이었죠

 

'섹시한 향'이 어쩌구 하면서
남자를 위아래로 훑더군요

 

입맛 다시는 고양이처럼!
남자가 완전히 멍해졌어요

 

크리스탈은 자기가 뿌리는
'지저벨' 병을 집어서

 

자기 손목에 뿌려
남자 코에 대줬죠

 

남자가 향을 맡더니
뻑 가더라구요

 

걘 그때까지는
그냥 장난친 거였는데

 

신용카드의 이름을 알아봤죠

 

- 그래서요?
- 걔가 계속 꼬릴 쳤고

 

결국 둘이 만나요
비싼 저녁에 옷도 사 주고

 

꽃도 비싼 꽃병에
담아 보내주고요

 

그럴 리가...

 

그럴... 리가...

 

어딜 좀 가봐야겠어요

 

어머, 죄송해요
제가 말이 많았죠?

 

손님들 재밌으라고
하는 말인데, 부인 성함이...

 

헤인즈요

 

세상에...
이럴 수가!

 

너무 죄송해요!
이놈의 입방정...

 

- 제가 도울 일이라도...
- 소문 그만 내요!

 

그럼요, 절대로 다시는
말 안한다고 약속할게요

 

다나

 

따끈한 빅뉴스야

 

메리예요
실비는 아직 회의중인가요?

 

끝나는대로
연락하라고 전해줘요

 

내가 좀 늦었지?
미안해, 엄마

 

얘기 들었다
네 아빠가 못난 인간이야

 

한잔 시켜놨다

 

어차피 나이 들면 마시게 될
낮술인데 오늘부터 마시렴

 

2시 방향에 헬렌 좀 보렴
수술을 얼마나 했는지

 

주름을 배꼽까지 땡겼구나

 

아가, 내가 뭘 해줄까?.
아빠 혼내줄까?.

 

엄마

 

그이가 바람핀대

 

뭐?

 

내 입으로 말하니까
더 기분나쁘고 구역질나!

 

누구랑?. 네 친구니?

 

아니, 백화점에서
향수 파는 애야

 

향수?

 

카우보이 부츠 살 때
알아봤어야 했어!

 

이런 일이 생기다니
우리 행복한 줄 알았는데!

 

어쩔 거야?.

 

뭘 어째, 뻔하지!
내쫒아 버릴꺼야

 

현명하지 못한 방법이야

 

어찌할 줄 모르겠을 땐
가만있는 게 나아

 

13년을 같이 산
남편이 바람났다구!

 

둘이 내 얘기도 하면서
날 비웃을 거란말야!

 

모른척하란 소린 하지마
내 심정 모르잖아!

 

글쎄다...

 

배를 한껏
걷어차인 기분?

 

심장이 멈춘 것 같은 기분?

 

아님 끝없이 추락하는
꿈을 꾸는데...

 

바닥에 부딪치기 전에
깨고 싶지만 속수무책인 기분?

 

아무것도, 그 누구도
더 이상 못 믿겠고...

 

인생이 통채로 바뀌지

 

온갖 난리를 친 후 결론은

 

그런 상처를 줄 사람도
그이뿐이란 거야

 

왜 말 안했어?

 

네가 아빠한테 실망할까봐

 

누구랑 바람폈는데?

 

옷 팔던 기집애였어

 

화장을 짙게 하고
늘 브라 끈을 드러냈지

 

- 알고서 어떻게 했어?
- 가만있었지

 

- 그냥?.
- 우리 엄마가 현명했지

 

걘 스티븐에게 아무 의미없어
옷 팔던 애도 아빠에게 그랬고

 

사랑에 빠졌다면
너도 느꼈을 게다

 

난 모른척 못해
옆에 있기도 싫어

 

그럼 이렇게 하자

 

봄도 됐으니
우리끼리 몇주 떠나있자

 

첩이랑만 붙어있으면 질려서
금세 널 그리워할걸?

 

우리 지금 무슨
30년대 영화 찍어?

 

말도 안돼!

 

아직도 모르겠니?
넌 딸이 있어

 

너만의 문제가 아냐

 

남편한테 연락해

 

내가 너랑 몰리만
시골로 불렀다고 해

 

내일 떠나자

 

친구들한텐 비밀로 해

 

다들 널
도우려 하겠지만

 

친구들 입단속하느라// 너만 힘들어져

 

정말로 안된 일인데...

 

조언해줄 일이 생겨서
좋구나

 

방금 해뜨는거 봤냐?.

 

- 지금쯤 자고 있어야 되는데
- 그만 툴툴대

 

메리가 공항 가는거
배웅해야지

 

여자들 우정은 이래서 안돼
배웅이나 나가고!

 

다음 사거리에서
좌회전 하십시오

 

방금 누구야?.

 

'네비걸'이야

 

침착하고 말대꾸도 안 해서
내 남편은 좋아죽어

 

좋아, 감이 오는데
낌새가 이상해

 

나만 모르는 거 있지?

 

아무 일 없어
왜 그렇게 생각해?

 

넌 메리네 부부가
어떤 것 같니?

 

겉으로는 완벽해 보여도
뭔가 분명히 있어

 

시끄러워지는 게 싫어서
자꾸 적당히 넘어가잖아

 

지금은 완벽하지만
언젠가는...

 

왜?

 

메리가 바람났니?

 

- 왜 메리라고 생각해?
- 이디!

 

스티븐이 메리를 두고
바람났다고?

 

- 이디! 입싸게 굴래?
- 난 암말 안했어!

 

우리가 아는 여자야?.

 

- 비밀 지켜
- 그래

 

향수 매장 직원이야

 

설마!

 

메리는 괜찮아?.

 

아직 몰라

 

몰라?. 너네 미쳤냐?.

 

빨리 알려서
두 년놈을 아작 내야지!

 

나도 이 일로
며칠간 고민했어

 

메리는 나랑
대학때부터 젤 친했어

 

- 알려주긴 해야겠다
- 당연하지!

 

아님 입닫든가

 

실비, 이런건 알려야돼
그게 도리야

 

내가 말해줄까?.
그게 뭐 어렵다고

 

- 안녕
- 안녕

 

택시타고 가도 되는데

 

몰리는 벌써 갔다며
널 혼자가게 할순 없지

 

- 전화번호 챙겼죠?
- 다 있어요

 

- 수의사도 연락해요
- 네, 존스선생님요

 

- 고칠것도 있는데...
- 싱크대요, 화요일에요

 

- 다음주 화요일 2시!
- 네

 

- 안녕
- 안녕

 

여긴 웬일이야?.

 

그냥 타
어서!

 

우리가 내리자

 

메리, 우리가 이렇게 모인 건
다 널 위해서야

 

실비가 말할거야

 

받아들이기 힘들거야

 

- 그게...
- 향수가게 여자 얘기야?.

 

다 알면서
나한테 말 안한거야?.

 

정말이지
나 완전 상처받았어

 

- 니가?
- 그래

 

니 남편이 바람났니?

 

알았어, 그만!
다 아는 얘기면 됐어

 

그래서 네 남편은 뭐래?

 

아직 그이는
내가 아는줄 몰라

 

- 뭐라고?
- 그게 말이 되냐?.

 

- 뭘 꾸물거려?
- 나도 이러기 싫어

 

알았어, 그만!

 

다들 도우려는 거 알아
고마운데

 

지금 여기서
분석하지는 말아줘

 

못 참겠어
가만히 내버려둬!

 

이만 가자

 

이 기분으로
운전해도 될까 몰라

 

엄마!

 

- 짱 죽이는 거 하자
- 뭔데?

 

모녀 세트 문신!

 

됐네요

 

엄마도 간지 좀 바꿔

 

- 내가 뭐 어때서?
- 됐어

 

그냥 나만 할게, 됐지?

 

그래
내가 코 뚫으면 해도 돼

 

왜 맨날
내 말은 무시해?

 

무시가 아냐
문신하지 말란 소리지

 

들어가서 TV 볼래

 

그냥 여기 있자
날씨도 이렇게 좋은데!

 

왜 뭐든 엄마 맘대로야?.

 

엄마, 날씨가 따뜻해서
수영해도 되겠어

 

수영복을 입어야 하잖니

 

남자들이야 눈치 안 보고
벗고 돌아다니지만

 

여자는 나이 들면 해변산책만
할래도 몸을 칭칭 감아야돼

 

- 그이 전화야
- 받지 마라

 

남편 없이도
잘 논다는 걸 보여줘

 

난 밀고당기기 싫어

 

- 주도권을 쥐는 건 좋지만!
- 당연히 좋지

 

벌써 3번째 전화가 온건
오라고 비는거나 다름없어

 

아직 네게 맘이 있어

 

그일 사랑 안했다면
마음고생도 없을텐데

 

사랑을 지워버리는
약이 있었음 좋겠어

 

사랑을 없애다니 왜?
찾기도 힘든 세상에!

 

- 또 스티븐이야
- 받아봐

 

여보세요
당신이야?.

 

궁금해 미치겠어

 

내 생각엔
네가 잘못 생각한거야

 

계획도 없이 갔다가...

 

저 가방 쥑인다

 

실비, 나 가불 좀 해줘

 

누구 좋으라고?
책부터 쓰셔

 

이 가방 사주세요

 

난 쇼핑 싫어
그냥 집에 가면 안돼?

 

안돼, 실비 이모가
누굴 찾고 있거든

 

다 끝나면 가자

 

난 이 백화점 싫어!

 

에이프럴

 

잘 들어, 아주 중요한 얘기니
평생 가슴에 새겨둬

 

삭스 백화점은 세계 최고란다

 

여길 좋아해야만
진정한 여자라구!

 

자, 향수코너로 가자

 

먹을거 사줘

 

팻입니다
지금 상담중이네요

 

크리스탈!

 

전화왔어

 

남자야

 

와우!

 

- 몸매 죽인다!
- 지금은 껄떡대지 마

 

봤으니까 가자

 

- 가긴 어딜!
- 나도 있을래

 

여보세요?

 

스티븐!

 

자기였음 했는데
잘지냈죠? 너무 보고싶어요

 

1주일이나 안 만나주다니
너무 잔인해

 

이번에 다 만회해요
오늘은 내가 요리해줄게

 

오븐이 어떻게
생겨 먹은 줄도 모르면서!

 

괜찮아, 자기야
일이 더 중요하지

 

걱정 마
생일 촛불은 혼자 꺼도 돼

 

말 안하려고 했는데
괜히 신경쓸까봐서

 

생일파티는 다른날 하지, 뭐

 

중요한 회사 일인데
안 가도 되겠어?

 

정말?.

 

너무 좋아! 8시에 봐
어딘지 알지?

 

망할 여편네!

 

와이프가 집을 비운 뒤부터
완전 집잃은 개처럼 굴어

 

4시에 오디션인데
저녁까지 만들게 생겼어

 

정말 짱나네!

 

- 네가 한댔잖아
- 미안해, 갈게

 

오늘밤 우리만 쓰게
집 좀 비워줄래?

 

오디션이나 잘해

 

실례합니다
좀 도와줄래요?

 

퇴근하니까
팻에게 부탁하세요

 

크리스탈을 추천받았는데

 

- 당신인가요?
- 네

 

고객의 욕구를
잘 파악한다면서요?

 

정말요? 누가 그래요?

 

주워 들었수다

 

어릴 때부터
샤넬 No. 5만 써왔는데

 

새 향수 좀 추천해봐요

 

진한 게 어울리겠네요

 

맞아요
나랑 마음이 맞는군요

 

내 성격을 반영할 수 있는
향이 좋겠어요

 

스마트하고, 거침없고
지적이고, 성실하고

 

친구를 감쌀 줄 알고
대신 복수도 하는!

 

향수 사러 오신 거
맞아요?

 

친구가 새 향수를 쓰는데
남편이 사줬다더군요

 

이디~

 

메리가 쓰는 향수가 뭐지?
스티븐이 사준 거 말야

 

스티븐 헤인즈라는 분
모신 적 있죠?

 

핸섬하고 머리숱 적고

 

플래티넘 카드 쓰는
생각나실텐데...

 

다 집어쳐!
네년이 꼬신 거 알아!

 

메리는 우리 친구야
죽기 싫음 당장 끝내!

 

남편이 바람났는데 가만있니?
넌 정말 구식이야

 

시골에서 돌아오니까

 

꽃 선물에 발마사지에
아주 지극정성이야

 

별일 아닐거라는
엄마 말이 맞나봐

 

- 이런게 모던한거 아냐?.
- 니가 프랑스여자니?

 

- 잠자리는 같이 안해
- 그래, 벌 좀 받아야지!

 

내 얘긴 그만하자
개리는 잘 지내?

 

됐어
그런 화상은 안 만나

 

넌 눈이 너무 높아
왠줄 아니?

 

선택하는게 두려운 거야

 

- 안그래!
- 맞아!

 

나도 선택한 적 있잖아

 

내가 잘나가면서
그도 떠났지만

 

처음엔 잘됐다고 축하하더니

 

너무 능력있는 여자와는
못살겠다고 떠나버리더라

 

- 그 남자만 그래
- 아냐

 

남자는 잘난 여자 싫어해
줄여서 맞춰야돼, 너처럼!

 

내가? 무슨 소리야?.

 

너도 성공할 수 있었는데

 

스티븐보다 잘나갈까봐
알아서 멈췄잖아

 

사랑에 빠지면
이것저것 계산하게 안 돼

 

- 직감으로 안다구
- 됐어

 

스티븐이 첫 데이트에
호박 선물한거 알지?

 

할로윈이라 봐줬지

 

난 너무 좋았어
첫 데이트에 호박이라니!

 

- 이상한 거야
- 귀엽잖아

 

둘이 같이 속을 팠고
우린 좋은 팀이었어

 

13년 살았고
호박도 13개야

 

이렇게 힘들 때
되짚어보게 되지

 

호박...
그게 바로 결혼이야

 

난 할로윈 싫어
낯선 사람만 찾아오고

 

계산 없이 생각대로 하면
좋은 남자랑 결혼할 거야

 

내가 결혼하고 싶은 남자가
나란게 문제지

 

실비, 이건 어때?

 

- 네가 입게? 정말?.
- 그래

 

남편한테 서비스할까 해

 

오랜만에 오셨네요
목욕가운 사시게요?

 

이거 입어보려고요

 

정말요?

 

다들 반응이 왜그래?

 

이 사이즈가
맞을 거예요

 

밤엔 요부가 돼야 한다는
중요한 사실을 깨달았거든

 

이제 아주 막가는구나

 

이해가 안돼
왜 탈의실에 형광등을 켜지?

 

푸르죽죽하게 보이는 걸
좋아할 여자 있나?

 

크리스탈, 좀 어떠세요?
다른 색상 보실래요?

 

아뇨, 좋아요
입어 볼게요

 

알겠습니다

 

너무 야한가?

 

아니, 좀...
다른 것도 골라와 볼게

 

- 조명 잘받는 거울 없어요?
- 바깥에 있죠

 

- 그런데 그렇게 입고...
- 뭐 어때요

 

멋진데요

 

그걸 입어 본 분은
고객님이 처음이죠

 

뽕 있어요? 좀 처지네요

 

이걸로 살게요
얼마죠?

 

이탈리아 수제 레이스라
650달러예요

 

- 다른 색은요?
- 샴페인 색요

 

그럼 그것도 줘요

 

현금 결제세요?

 

개인수표 되나요?

 

아뇨
하지만 기꺼이 받아드리죠

 

개인 신용도만 체크하고요

 

신용체크라...
그럴 시간 없네요

 

아, 대신 결재할 사람의
연락처를 드릴게요

 

그러죠, 그분 성함이...

 

스티븐 헤인즈예요

 

가족 친구죠

 

헤인즈 부인도
우리 고객입니다

 

저쪽 탈의실에 계세요

 

부인에게 대신
결제 부탁할까요?

 

아뇨

 

괜찮아요
예의가 아니죠

 

여기 온지 얼마 안돼
부인께 인사도 못했는데

 

이 차림으로
첫인사를 할 순 없죠

 

이해하시죠?

 

그럼요

 

- 헤인즈씨께 전화하죠
- 고마워요

 

너무 딱 붙지?

 

메리...

 

그 기집애가 여깄어
건너편 탈의실에!

 

뭐라고?
어떻게 알았어?

 

매장 직원과
얘기하는 거 봤어

 

니 남편 카드도
막 긁어대고 있고!

 

설마!

 

남편이 돈내주는 거 보면
아직도 사귀는 거야

 

나 집에 갈래
이것 좀... 벗겨줘

 

집에 간다구?
저 기집애한테 가봐!

 

왜 계속 피하려고 드니?
뭐가 무서워서?

 

가면 갈수록
바보가 되는 것 같아서!

 

저 여자가
네 인생을 망치고 있어

 

지금 맞닥뜨리지 않으면

 

저년이 네 딸과
호박 속 파게 될 수도 있어!

 

오늘만 우아함을 버리자
가서 쥐어 뜯어버려!

 

- 어서
- 알았어

 

응원하고 있을게
들어가

 

어서!

 

- 어서! 별거 아냐!
- 알았어

 

- 아니, 못하겠어
- 해!

 

이런 젠장!

 

- 누구시죠?
- 지금 장난해?

 

메리 헤인즈예요

 

그렇군요
이거 황당하네요

 

그이가 말했나보군요

 

당신 얘긴 안했는데
난 알고 있었죠

 

그래요?
왜 지금에야 나타나셨죠?

 

그건 내 스타일 아닌데
여기 있다기에 보러 왔어요

 

헤인즈 부인
이렇게 된건 유감이지만

 

스티븐도 상처줄 생각
없었을 거예요

 

당신이 알긴 뭘 알아?.

 

유부남을 빼앗는 여자는
없다는걸 알죠

 

대개 남편이 넘어오죠!

 

그쪽엔 도가 텄나보군요

 

스티븐은 똑똑한 남자예요

 

당신 같은 여잔
노리개에 불과하죠

 

저도 부인 같은 부류의
싸모님들을 알아요

 

교양떠는 친구들 두고
좋은 집에 살며

 

맨날 사교파티랑
쇼핑을 즐기며 살죠

 

자선행사나 열면서
대단한줄 착각하며 살아요

 

그러면서
남자 관리에 소홀해지죠

 

남자는 외로워지고
다른 여자를 찾아...

 

다시 인정받고 싶어해요

 

남자들은 그런 느낌을
아주 중요시하죠

 

여기 들어오면서 어이없게도
난 이런 기대를 했어요

 

우리가 만나
서로의 존재를 확인하고

 

그냥 상상 속의
존재가 아니란 걸 알면

 

당신도 죄책감이 들어

 

날 하나의 여자로 보고
동지애를 느껴...

 

당신이 나는 물론
우리 가족에게 피해를 줬단걸

 

깨달을 줄 알았어요!

 

뭔소린지 모르겠네요

 

그러시겠지
당신 수준에 맞게 얘기할게

 

내 남편 그만 만나!

 

그건 그이가
결정할 일이죠

 

충고 하나 할까?.

 

스티븐은 그런 속옷
안 좋아해!

 

그런 야한거!

 

그이가 싫다고 하면..

 

벗으면 되죠

 

- 잘했어, 메리
- 당장 나가자!

 

- 대체 뭐하자는 거야!
- 어떻게 됐어?

 

정면충돌했어요
사장님은 말이 없어요

 

바람핀 주제에
뭔 할말이 있겠어요?

 

다른 말은 없고?

 

그렇게 더 싸우다
부인이 조용해지더니

 

갑자기 이랬어요
'그 여자랑 살 거야?. '

 

말 잘했네
궁지로 몰아야지

 

그랬더니 사장님이
'당신을 사랑해' 했죠

 

그러시겠지
뻔한 소리!

 

부인이 말씀을 멈췄죠
사장님은 계속 말했고요

 

이렇게 오래
만날 생각은 없었고

 

몇 번이고
깨고 싶었다면서요

 

남자들은 꼭 뒷감당 못할
일을 벌이지

 

그때 사장님이
말실수를 해요

 

크리스탈을
계속 만난 이유는

 

자기만 믿고 의지하는데
상처줄 수 없었대요

 

그년한테?

 

부인도 그렇게 말했죠
근데 부인도 실수해요

 

'그년이 보는 건
당신 돈뿐이야! ' 라고요

 

초쳤네!
남자가 듣기 싫은 소린

 

자길 순수하게 사랑하는 여자가
마누라뿐이란 소리지

 

다들 화술이 부족해
내가 학원을 열든가 해야지

 

그때 사장님이
결정적인 말을 하죠

 

옛날로 다시
되돌릴 수는 없냐구요

 

사장님 말씀 들었음
정말 맘 아팠을 거예요

 

내 알 바 아냐
우리 일자리나 걱정해!

 

부인이 이혼하자고 했어요

 

사장님은?

 

시간을 갖고
생각해보라고 하셨죠

 

자긴 호텔에서
하룻밤 자겠다면서요

 

그랬더니 부인은?

 

결혼반질 빼서 던졌어요!

 

저런, 저런

 

내 명함집이 어딨더라?.

 

날 스카웃하려던
바바라란 여자가 있어

 

벌써 관두시게요?

 

잠깐만요, 쉿!
뭔 소리가 들려요

 

됐어! 우린 망했어
여길 떠야돼

 

주인집에 정 안붙이는 게
바로 그런 이유야

 

그런 이유로 대통령을
잘 뽑아야 한다는 거야!

 

뭘 좀 먹어야겠는데
전부 저지방, 무지방이네!

 

과일만 잔뜩!
불량식품 없어요?

 

- 못 사게 하시잖아요
- 술 드시겠어요?

 

두분도 알아야 되는데
나, 이혼해요!

 

바람을 폈대요!

 

- 말도 안돼!
- 전혀 몰랐어요!

 

내가 바보였어요!

 

첨엔 별거 아니라고
그럴수도 있다 쳤어요

 

눈 딱감고
모른 척해주면

 

알아서 풀릴줄 알았어요

 

내가 미쳤지!

 

물론 결혼생활이 매일
좋았던 건 아니지만

 

내가 딴 남자 만나던가요?
아뇨!

 

만날 수 있는
기회는 많았어요!

 

남자들이 껄떡댄적 있어요!
뭐, 한두번 뿐이었지만

 

13년동안 한 남자랑만
하는 것도 지루해요!

 

스티븐이 새로운 테크닉을 써도
이미 뻔했죠

 

하지만 불평 안 했어요
배달부도 안 꼬셨고요!

 

하나 더 말하자면...

 

스티븐은 잠자리에서
받은 것도 많다는 거죠

 

절대! 그 누구도 나만큼
서비스할 여잔 없어요!

 

벽에 박힌 못도 뽑을만큼
빨아줬으니까!

 

이럴수가...

 

세상에...

 

지금은 제정신 아닐 거예요

 

난 고민이 생기면
잠자리에 들기 전에

 

내일 눈을 뜨면
다 잘될거라고 생각해요

 

난 그렇게 해요!
한번 해봐요!

 

올라가서 한숨 푹 주무세요

 

아침엔 기분이 훨 좋아져요

 

매기...

 

기분 풀릴거예요

 

둘밖에 없어요

 

부인은 사장님 못버려

 

서로의 감정이 어떤진
내가 더 잘 알아

 

주말되기 전에
사장님도 돌아올 거야

 

이해가 안돼...
왜 하필 나야?.

 

오, 메리...

 

어떤 관계에서든
생기는 일이야

 

누군가가
배신하게 돼 있어

 

한번 크게 하든
여러번 작게 하든

 

오, 메리...

 

나 어쩜 좋니?

 

잘될거야

 

더 신선한 생각 없어?

 

표지에 신경을 써야돼요
아주 튀게요

 

이런 카피 어때요?
'45분의 오르가즘'

 

45분?
그게 되는 남자 봤어?

 

주목해봐
우리만의 컨셉이 필요해

 

다른 패션지와 차별화해

 

- 지적으로 독자를 이끌자
- 이미 그랬잖아요?

 

'진정한 삶을 사는 법'
칼럼도 좋았고요

 

무슨! 여자들한텐
자아를 찾으래놓고는

 

말도 안되는
다이어트를 부추겼어

 

20살짜리가 모델인
주름 개선제 광고나 싣고!

 

우리가 여자들을
돌게 하고 있어

 

저기요!

 

전 신입이지만...

 

제가 편집장이라면
이렇게 하겠어요

 

매호마다 주제를 정해서
브랜딩하는 거죠

 

가판대에서
톡톡 튀어 보이도록요

 

주제는 독특하면서도
위트있는 걸로 정하고요!

 

'복수' 특집호처럼요

 

복수의 방법과
악의를 숨기는 기법!

 

표지엔 배우를 박아요

 

젊고 섹시하고
매혹적인 여배우로요

 

'달콤한 유혹'의 아이콘으로
출판계에 재기하는 거예요

 

촌스럽게 복수라니?
너무 구식이야

 

옛날식 사고라고
더 좋은 것도 많잖아

 

우리가 원하는 방향과
정반대야

 

나라면 그 잡지 사겠어요!

 

잠시 쉬지

 

머리들 식혀
점심 먹고 계속하자

 

생각해봐요
아이디어 좋잖아요

 

편집장 입장에선
그런 애가 제일 무서워

 

갑자기 나타나선

 

내가 뒤쳐졌나? 유행을
못 쫒아가나? 싶게 만들어

 

더 올라가요

 

- 좀 쉬면 안돼요?
- 안돼요

 

제일 무서워하는
말이 뭐죠?

 

- '아래로 풍덩! '
- 그럼 올라가요

 

잠깐만 내려줘요

 

고마워요

 

베일리 스미스 씨?
mTV 어워즈에서 봤잖아요

 

아, 기억나요!
편집장 일은 어때요?

 

'보그' 따라잡기 전까진
만족 못해요

 

- 따라잡을 방법은 있죠
- 뭔데요?

 

당신같은 스타 작가를
기용하는 거요

 

칭찬 고맙지만
사양할게요

 

'뉴욕포스트'가 좋거든요

 

왜 그러신지
이유를 모르겠어요

 

훌륭한 인물평을 쓰다가

 

3류 신문에
가십이나 쓰시다니

 

전국 신문에 실리니까
돈 걱정이 없어졌어요

 

패션보단 사람 얘길 쓰는게
더 좋구요

 

저도 그걸 원해요

 

당신만의 독특한 방식으로
사람들 얘길 쓰는 거죠

 

판매부수가 오를 거예요

 

요즘 부수가 떨어졌다죠?

 

주요 인사들도
많이 관뒀다던데

 

참을성 없는 작자들이죠

 

기고는 해줄 수 있는데

 

조건이 있어요

 

다 들어줄게요

 

- 정말요?
- 네

 

요즘 유명인사 부부에 대한
칼럼을 쓰는데

 

최근에 이혼하려는
부부가 있대요

 

누군지 아시죠?

 

전혀 몰라요
관심도 없고요

 

왜 이래요?

 

대선보다 이혼 얘기가
더 잘팔리는 거 몰라요?

 

글은 다 쓴 것같은데
내게 뭐가 필요하죠?

 

확실한 정보원의
확실한 증언요

 

그 도움은 못드려요

 

내 정보원이 돼주면

 

나도 당신을 위해
해줄 일이 있죠

 

내 정보통에 따르면
당신 사장님이

 

'하퍼스 바자'의
탈리아와 만났대요

 

걱정 안해요

 

사장님은 나 안 잘라요
내 뒤를 100% 밀어주니까

 

그러시겠죠

 

내가 듣기론
조건도 높게 제시했대요

 

베일리 씨
그 기사 싣지 말아요

 

없는 직원마저
퇴사할 거고

 

나도 신뢰를
완전히 잃을 거예요

 

정말 놀랍죠?

 

아주 작은 소문이 한 여자의
경력을 뭉갤수 있다는 사실요!

 

잘 생각해요

 

거기서 잘리면
갈 데도 없잖아요?

 

금융계 큰손
아내두고 바람피워

 

이제 넌
약속장소 잡지 마

 

기왕에 신문에다 도배할 거면
잘나온 사진 쓰면 어디 덧나?

 

그것도 저 애 옆인데!

 

옷 섹시한 것 좀 봐라

 

- 너 오늘 조용하다?.
- 일이 많았거든

 

왔다

 

- 안녕
- 안녕

 

장소는
알렉스가 잡았구나?

 

당근이지

 

목 좀 축이자

 

다들 기사 봤지?

 

그 얘긴 하지 말자

 

정말 하늘도 무심하시지!

 

그냥 웃어넘겨!
알았지?

 

아님 여자랑 사귀든가
여기가 딱이야

 

마가리타도 마시고
여자도 사귈래!

 

그 발상 좋아
다들 걱정 마라!

 

메리도 다 정리하셨다!

 

그래, 정리했어
변호사도 고용했고

 

변호사 쓰긴
너무 이르지 않니?

 

한달쯤 지나면
생각이 바뀔 거야

 

뭐라고?

 

그래, 미친척하고
한마디할게

 

어떤 일이든
다 사정이 있어

 

남자나 여자나 살다보면
한눈 팔 수도 있다고

 

안 그래?

 

좋은 결혼 상담가라면
이렇게 물을 거야

 

"당신은 잘못한 거 없나요? "

 

그 새끼랑
결혼한 게 잘못이지

 

너 누구 편이야?.

 

- 편이 어딨어
- 빨리 정해! 어디야!

 

네 편!

 

나도 네 편이야!

 

좋아

 

베일리같은 뻔뻔한 년도
자기얼굴 거울로 볼까 궁금해

 

다른 사람의 고통을 팔아
돈을 벌잖아

 

메리, 다 내탓이야!

 

다 말할게

 

베일리는 내가
해고직전인데다가

 

자기 글을 원할줄 알고
날 협박했어

 

난 말한 거 없어
이미 다 꿰고있더라

 

사실이면 끄덕하라길래
고갯짓만 했어

 

내 자리가 흔들리니까
너무 두려웠거든

 

다들 겁나면
엉뚱한 짓을 하잖아

 

내가 엄청 잘못한거
잘알아!

 

너 왜 그러냐?.

 

내 인생을 걸고 투자한
직장을 지키고 싶었어!

 

네가 뭐랬더라?.

 

어떤 관계에서든
누군가 배신한다고?

 

부부얘긴 줄 알았더니
우정은 더 비참하구나!

 

넌 회사를 경영할
능력이 없어!

 

뒤도 돌아보지말고 떠나!

 

우리 아빠가
가만있을 줄 알아?.

 

난 네 아버지랑 자거든?

 

건강한 피부의 기초는
보습이며...

 

제발!
벌써 오후예요

 

곧 따님이 학교에서 돌아와요

 

엄마 상태가 이러면
좋겠어요?

 

시계를 안 보고 사니까
홀가분해요

 

헤인즈씨 댁입니다

 

안녕하세요

 

그럼요
목소릴 벌써 잊다뇨

 

나야 이집을
굳게 지키고 있죠

 

잠깐 기다려보세요

 

사장님 전화예요

 

나 없다고 해요

 

나 거짓말 서툰 거
알잖아요

 

얘기하기 싫어요
바빠요

 

난 가정부일 뿐이에요

 

요리하고 청소하고
심부름은 해도

 

부인 비서도 엄마도
친구 노릇도 못해요

 

난 빠질테니
알아서 하세요!

 

재산 감정사한테는
다음주에 연락할게

 

할로윈 호박 함께 만들면
몰리도 좋아할 거야

 

초대해준 건 고마운데
그냥 부녀끼리...

 

아니, 혼자 지내

 

당신이라면
꼴도 보기 싫으니까!

 

다 끝난 일이잖아
결혼상담 받기 싫어!

 

몰리한테 연락하라고 할게!

 

아가, 정말 미안해
너 들으라고 한 말 아냐

 

메리, 거깄는 거 알아
왜 전화 안 받니?.

 

얘기해서 풀자

 

이런 식으로 나올래?.
어서 받아! 어서!

 

무슨 일이세요?

 

그렇게 몰래
다가오기에요?

 

여호와의 증인처럼
남의 집은 왜 기웃거려요?

 

메리 만나러 왔어요

 

메시지 엄청 남겼는데
연락이 없어요

 

여기 없어요

 

- 어딨는데요?
- 멀리 갔어요

 

그럼 몰리는요?

 

학교 갔죠
평일에 가는덴 뻔하구만

 

귀엽네요

 

이제 가실래요?
저도 바쁘거든요

 

당신 프라다 구두가
내 꽃밭도 망쳤고요

 

- 제이슨이야
- 정말?.

 

- 나 좋아하냐고 물어봐
- 네가 물어봐

 

젠장!

 

누군데?

 

엄마 친구
그만 가봐

 

- 그래, 안녕
- 잘가

 

세상 참 좁구나

 

- 학교엔 안 갔니?
- 그냥 가기 싫어서요

 

옷차림이 확 바뀌었구나

 

교복입고 등교했다가
끝나면 갈아입어요

 

요즘 유행이에요

 

머리 좋은데?

 

혹시 담배 있니?

 

고맙다

 

아줌마!

 

- 엄마도 아니?
- 아뇨, 말하지 마세요!

 

식욕 감퇴용이에요

 

- 넌 날씬하잖아
- 내 몸맨 꽝이에요

 

아줌마 잡지에 나오는
여자 같지도 않고요

 

그렇게 생긴 여잔 없어
모델도 마찬가지야

 

다 포샵으로 손질하거든

 

왜 정상인은
잡지에 안 나와요?

 

위선적이란 거 알아
인생이 복잡하잖니

 

저도 깨닫고 있어요

 

내게 털어놔볼래?

 

싫어요

 

그래

 

몇 살 때
첫경험 했어요?

 

30살

 

말도 못하게 아팠어

 

너무 창피했고!
뭐가 뭔지 몰랐을 때니까

 

남자 방엘 갔는데

 

커다란 여배우 포스터에
스타워즈 침대보가 있더구나

 

최악이었어, 그후론
오랫동안 섹스를 안했단다

 

그후에 누굴 만났는데
기다린 보람이 있었어

 

서로 좋아 죽었지
그러자 잠자리도 좋아졌어

 

우리 엄마가 할 얘기를
그대로 하시네요

 

사랑에 빠지기 전엔
섹스하지 말란 소리!

 

아냐, 나도 그냥
즐기기만 한적도 많지만

 

사랑하는 사람과
함께 잘때가 최고야

 

아줌만 쿨한 엄마가 될거예요

 

정말?. 에이 설마!

 

애들은 날 안 좋아하던데

 

좋은 엄마 될 거예요
우리 엄만 최악이지만!

 

같은 방에 있어도
같이 있단 느낌이 안들죠

 

몰리...
요즘 많이 힘든 모양인데

 

하고싶은 말이 있음
언제든지 연락해

 

연락한다고 약속!

 

어서, 약속!

 

약속할게요

 

엄마는 어디 갔대니?

 

좋아요
다들 숨을 깊이 들이쉬어요

 

둘러보세요
자연의 힘을 느껴봐요

 

이래서 캠프에 와야해요

 

치유를 위해서!

 

이혼한 분? 몇번?

 

잠깐만 기다려요
나도 왔어요

 

맙소사!

 

죄송해요!

 

우라질 새벽에 일어나기가
쉽지 않네요

 

욕해서 쏘리!

 

늘 이렇게 일찍 시작해요?

 

점심때쯤 호숫물이
말라버린다면 몰라도

 

카누는 새벽에 탔어요
매번!

 

나도 매번 오르가즘인 척하지만
그게 옳은 건 아니죠

 

갑시다!

 

들고!

 

올리고!

 

- 받치고!
- 맙소사

 

돌리고!

 

전진!

 

제발, 열려라!

 

포기해요

 

나도 해봤어요

 

깜짝이야!

 

자물통 채운 냉장고나 있는
여기를 온게 잘못이지!

 

- 리아 씨죠?
- 네

 

메리예요
너무 배가 고프네요

 

현미경으로나 보일 것 같은
저녁이나 주고!

 

정말 빡쎈 단식원이죠?

 

악명 높은 재활원도
이정돈 아녔는데!

 

아뇨... 됐어요

 

어떻게 들여왔어요?
난 껌까지 싹 털렸는데

 

여기 관리원인
'벅'과 친해졌죠

 

쎄고 쎈
배우지망생이래요

 

그런 놈들은
LA에나 있는 줄 알았는데!

 

요즘은 치과의사도 대본 쓰고
정원사도 3류 배우질 하잖아요

 

프로필 찍어주고
몇 개피 받았죠

 

배우 매니저세요?

 

그럼 뭐겠어요?

 

- 언제부터요?
- 독립전쟁 때부터요

 

다들 날 '대모'라고 부르죠

 

누구든 스타로 만들수 있죠
관리소 총각까지도요

 

안될 거 없죠
귀여운 훈남이니까

 

같이 노닥거려도 재밌고
대스타가 될지도 모르죠

 

딴놈들처럼 배은망덕하게
결국엔 날 떠나겠지만!

 

당신은 왜 왔어요?

 

가출을 한 셈이에요

 

마누라, 엄마, 딸 노릇
다 실패했고...

 

단짝과도 절교했는데
그게 최악이죠

 

난 넷째 남편과 이혼했죠

 

네번째!

 

아니, 다섯번째!

 

날 죽이려던 자식이라
기억에서 지우고 다니죠

 

네?

 

스키장 리프트에서
날 떨어뜨렸어요

 

- 어떻게 했어요?
- 확실하게 끝내버렸죠

 

다 처리하고 나니

 

도로 위엔 그 새끼
가발만 남아있더군요

 

왜 자꾸 결혼을 해요?

 

사랑 때문이죠
그놈의 사랑이 뭔지...

 

나도 대마초 좀 줘요

 

대학교 1학년때 피워봤는데

 

그때 취해서
치약 한통을 먹어치웠죠

 

내 고민은 이거예요

 

난 늘 착하게 살려고 해요

 

교과서처럼
옳게 살려고 애써요

 

계산대에서도 양보하고

 

거지에게 돈도 주고
재활용도하고

 

절대 남을 안속여요

 

딱 한번 속였다

 

- 그래요?
- 네

 

보드게임 할때
몰래 몇칸 더 갔죠

 

그땐 어렸으니까
속인것도 아니고...

 

내가 무슨 얘기를
하고 있었지?

 

수다쟁이군

 

이 상황에서
벗어나고 싶어요

 

왜 하필 지금
내 인생이 망가졌을까?.

 

침 뭍이지 마세요!
고마워요

 

평생 최선을 다했는데
누군가는 꼭 실망시키더라구요

 

사람들은 모두
서로 갈등하며 살아요

 

비법 하나 알려줘요?

 

등신같이 착한척 말고
이기적으로 살아요!

 

'나'를 먼저 생각하는 순간
인생이 더 잘 풀리거든요

 

중요한건, '내가 누구지? '
'뭘 하고 싶지? '예요

 

"내가 원하는 것은? "

 

메리에게
난 사과에 서툴러

 

메리에게
정말 미안해

 

실례합니다

 

저기요

 

어머니 뵈러 왔어요
캐서린 프레이저죠

 

좀 어떠세요?

 

통증이 있지만 괜찮아요
안에 계시죠

 

고마워요

 

엄마?.

 

엄마?.

 

나 여깄다

 

엄마! 많이 아파?

 

주름수술로 젊어지려고
수천 달러를 썼는데...

 

당연히 아프지!

 

좋아보인다

 

고마워
정말 성형할 줄 몰랐어

 

요즘 여자들 못봤니?

 

60대로 보이는 여자가 없어
내가 마지막이었다고

 

하고 싶은 걸 한 거잖아
난 반대 안해

 

엄마도 항상 그랬잖아
뒤돌아보고 후회하지 마라!

 

다 개소리야!
나도 후회를 많이해

 

스스로 이룬 일도 없고

 

우유부단했고...
솔직히 난 속물이었다

 

넓은 집에
예쁜옷만 찾으며

 

남편 덕에
아쉬움없이 살았지

 

나한테 많이 실망했겠지만
이젠 더 실망시킬 것도 없어

 

차 좀 마셔

 

고맙다

 

다시 일을 하려고 해

 

아버지 밑에서 말고
내가 스스로 차릴래

 

무슨 생각으로?

 

바닥을 쳤더니 잃을게 없었어
엄마도 경험해봐

 

얼굴이 여의치 않아
마음으로만 웃고 있다

 

크게 벌이지 않고
작게 시작할래

 

자금은 어디서 구하고?

 

투자자를 모을거야

 

- 내가 물려줄 돈도 있잖아
- 괜찮아!

 

그 돈 안 썼어

 

- 너 말고 누구한테 쓰겠니?
- 손 벌리러 온 거 아냐

 

돈 얘기 끝내자
이 얼굴로 실랑이 못해

 

그거 알아?.

 

내가 나중에 늙어서
엄마처럼 붕대 헬멧 썼을 때

 

내 딸도 나만큼만
제 엄마를 사랑해줬음 좋겠어

 

나보다 헛소리가 늘었구나

 

작업실 - 분양중

 

mH스튜디오

 

사장님, 이러지 마요

 

네, 이번호가 아쉽긴 했지만
다음호는 완전히 달라요

 

베일리 스미스가
가십 기사도 썼고

 

알렉스도
미리 글을 써서 준댔...

 

어떻게 그러세요?

 

1년만에 잡지를
회생시키기가 쉬운가요?

 

3개월만 기회를 줘요
아셨죠?

 

끝내주는 아이디어가 있어요!

 

'복수' 특별판을
내는 거죠

 

복수의 기법과
악의를 숨기는 방법과...

 

완벽한 루머 퍼뜨리는 법...

 

쌤쌤이 될 때까지
처절하게 싸우기...

 

표지엔 젊고 섹시한
여배우를 박고요!

 

네!

 

감사합니다

 

꼭 대박칠 거예요!

 

그래요

 

내일 아침에 뵙죠

 

안녕!

 

아무도 없어?
몰리?

 

- 다들 어딨어?
- 여기요!

 

매기! 수입한 이태리 원단은
색깔이 완전히 틀려요

 

패턴도 완전히 다시 짜고
모델은 나타나지도 않았죠

 

그래도 옷은
너무 잘 나왔어요!

 

- 몰리는요?
- 밖에요

 

뭐한데요?

 

여자가 되기 싫다네요

 

몰리?

 

와, 불장난 제대로
하는구나

 

첨엔 다이어트 식품

 

지금은 모델에 관련된 걸
태우고 있어

 

'인생 지침서'가 있다면
참 좋겠지?

 

힘든 일이 생겨
어찌할 바를 모를 때마다

 

그 책에서 딱맞는 해답을
구하면 되니까

 

같은 반 애들을
동정했었어

 

엄마가 애인과 잘 때
아빠랑 함께 지내는 애들

 

어떨 땐 2주 연속으로!

 

그런 애들을 동정했는데
이제 내가 그런 애야

 

그동안 내가 신경 못썼지?

 

미안하게 생각해
얘기 많이해서 풀자

 

실비 아줌마랑
얘기하는게 편해

 

실비랑 얘기했니?

 

날 도와줬어

 

나도 돕고 싶어
왜 엄마한텐 기회를 안주니?

 

엄만 무조건
잘될 거라고만 하는데

 

그렇지 않아!

 

아빤 가구도 없는
아파트에 사는데

 

크리스탈이란 여잔
뻔질나게 찾아와

 

전화도 없이 들이닥쳐

 

자기 물건도 놓고 가
드레스에 가방까지...

 

아빤 그 여자
좋아하지도 않아

 

외로워한다구!

 

엄마를 그리워해

 

미안해, 몰리
나도 어쩔 수가 없어

 

엄마아빠가 외출할 때
준비하던 거 기억나

 

내가 엄마 드레스랑
하이힐도 챙기고

 

립스틱도 발라줬지

 

엄마처럼 되고 싶었어

 

실비 아줌마한테
전화할래

 

얘!

 

야!

 

메리!

 

내 딸한테
무슨 말 하는지 말해!

 

우리 둘만의 비밀이야

 

애가 마음고생 하는걸
비밀로 해?

 

몰리가 의지할 사람이...

 

그럼 날 의지해야지!

 

엄마는 네가 아니고
바로 나니까!

 

몰리가 날 좋아한대!

 

넌 거절이라곤 못하지

 

애 낳은 자국이나 보여주고
엄마노릇 하셔!

 

옷차림은 그게 뭐야?.
왜 그리 추리해?

 

나도 잘 알아

 

- 무슨 일 있지?
- 없어

 

- 있네, 뭐!
- 관심 꺼, 알았니?

 

문제 만들 생각 없었어
도우려던 거야

 

그런 소리
지겹지도 않니?

 

끼어들었다고 탓하기 전에
네가 잘했어야지!

 

넌 네 딸
챙기지도 않았잖아!

 

아무도 챙기지 않았어

 

곤란할 때마다 피하는데
어떻게 챙기겠어?

 

함부로 말하지 마
넌 얼마나 잘났는데?

 

날 배신했듯이
내 딸도 배신할 거 아냐?.

 

네 친구노릇도 힘들어!
이만큼 잘해줬음 됐잖아!

 

넌 단짝인
날 팔아넘긴 애야!

 

직장이라도 잘 붙들어
그게 네 전부니까!

 

때려쳤어!

 

뭐?

 

어쩌겠니?
내 자신이 금찍한데!

 

어떻게 관둬?

 

얼마나 정신이 나갔으면
단짝 친구를 팔아먹겠냐?.

 

불가피한 상황이었잖아!

 

네 소중한 일을
지키고 싶어서!

 

애 키우는 거에 비하면
아무것도 아냐

 

너야말로 대단해!

 

왜 이래, 난 빵점짜리 엄마야!
내 단점만 물려주고 있어!

 

딸이랑 섹스 얘기도 못하고!

 

난 말하기 쉬웠어
내 애가 아니니까...

 

그래, 네가 날 도왔어

 

정말 큰 도움이 됐어!
너무 고마워, 젠장!

 

고맙다!

 

정말이지, 너야말로
얼마나 벅차겠니

 

애 안 낳은게
다행일 정도야

 

동창회 같은 데선
꺼낼 수도 없는 말이지만!

 

모임 잡아줄테니까
거기서 실컷 해!

 

이제 지친다

 

우리 꼴 좀 봐

 

헤어스타일은 좋은데?

 

오늘 이혼서류 받았어

 

서명만 하면 되는데
펜을 못 찾겠어

 

지금은 21세기야

 

순진하게 당하고만
있을 때가 아니라고

 

무슨 기분인지 알아?.

 

사고 후유증에
빠진 느낌이야

 

팔 같은 신체의 일부가
잘려나갔는데

 

아직도 팔이 있다는 느낌!

 

스티븐도 같은 기분일걸

 

남편이 아니라
너와 내 얘기야

 

작전 개시!

 

- 나 기억하죠?
- 네, 헤인즈 부인!

 

오늘도 손이 엉망인데
예쁘게 좀 만져줘요

 

- 시간 있죠?
- 그럼요!

 

- 메리?
- 실비!

 

- 어떻게 지냈니?
- 아주 잘지내!

 

난 방금 얼굴 마사지
개운하게 받았어!

 

너의 자기랑은 어때?

 

아주 끝내줘
숨돌릴 틈도 없어

 

- 섹스는 말할것도 없고!
- 넘 부럽다

 

몰래 만나니까
더 스릴 있어

 

집나간 남편과 다시 바람피는
것처럼 짜릿한 것도 없지

 

어머!

 

나좀 봐
내가 이렇다니까

 

더 주책떨기 전에
가봐야겠다

 

만나서 반가웠어
연락해

 

어색하네요
요즘은 크리스탈 안 만나죠?

 

내 얘긴 잊어요
이미 많이 시끄러웠으니까

 

걱정 마요

 

색깔은 정하셨어요?

 

네, '정글 레드'요

 

정말이야, 타냐?.

 

나 몰래 마누라를 만나?

 

나랑 같이 살다시피 하면서!
아주 막나가겠다 이거지?

 

아빠가 집에 데려다준대요

 

어머, 깜짝 놀랐잖니
끊을게

 

인사하고 오래서요

 

이리와서 뽀뽀해줘

 

됐거든요

 

어서, 주말내내
함께 보냈잖니

 

코트까지 입었는데
여긴 너무 더워서요

 

- 그래, 잘가라
- 안녕히 계세요

 

딸랑?.

 

크리스탈 아줌마라고
부르라니까

 

싫어요!

 

난 너한테 잘해주려고
온갖 애를 쓰잖아

 

네 방도 청소해주고
죽이는 저녁도 만들고!

 

라면 못 끓이는
사람도 있나요?

 

중요한 건
내가 노력한다는 거야

 

넌 왜 노력 안해?

 

싫어하니까요

 

그럴리가 있나?
다들 날 좋아해

 

네가 그런 식으로 말하면
아빤 좋아하겠니?

 

신경 안 쓰실걸요?

 

왜? 들은 얘기 있니?

 

없어요

 

아참, 다음주 주말엔 안 와요
엄마가 패션쇼를 열거든요

 

평생 원하셨던 일을
이루게 됐어요

 

아빠도 좋아하세요

 

그런 엄마가...

 

섹시해 보인다나...

 

당당한 여자한테 끌린대요

 

그냥 들은 얘기예요

 

목욕 잘하세요

 

스티븐!

 

덴마크식은 잘 모르겠지만
장식수술은 안 뿌리고

 

하나씩 다는거야

 

됐다, 가 볼게요

 

와, 축하드려요!
너무 멋져요!

 

어쩜 그렇게
침착하고 차분하세요?

 

- 속으론 엄청 떨리죠?
- 우타...

 

난 진짜 괜찮아요
갈망해오던 내 모습이거든요

 

나도 자립한 거예요

 

부인
오늘 밤 어떻게 되든...

 

그 자리에 부인이
있었다는 게 중요해요

 

난 해낼줄 알았어요

 

고마워요

 

사랑하는거 알죠

 

이만 가볼게요

 

우타는 1시간 후에
몰리랑 와요

 

네

 

매기, 뭐예요?
정붙이지 말라면서요?

 

닥치고 장식이나 해

 

너무 먹는다, 진짜
'스타킹' 나가 봐

 

- 메리?
- 엄마!

 

잠깐 얘기좀 하자

 

사람들이 참 많이 왔지?
디자이너들은 다 왔어

 

속이 다 울렁거려

 

다 잘될거야!

 

아버지가 이말 전하랬다
너보고 재능있대

 

기분 좋은데?

 

너무 웃지 마
보톡스 맞게 돼

 

난 오프닝 순서가 좀 걸려
코트 배치도 좀 그렇고

 

엄마, 돈 대준건 고맙지만

 

5분마다 나타나서
조언해줄 필요는 없어

 

내 의견 반영해준다면서

 

그야 돈을 받았으니까
예의상 한 말이지

 

진심인줄 알았어?
빨리 가서 앉아

 

코트를 다시 손봐

 

작은 걸로!

 

몰리, 그건 뭐야?.

 

막 도착했어
아빠가 보냈어

 

아빠가?

 

참, 오늘 성공하게
빌어줘!

 

- 엄마?.
- 왜?

 

엄마 정말 멋져!

 

"다시 당신과 합치고 싶어
너무 늦은 거야?. "
-사랑하는 스티븐이-

 

안녕, 이디

 

어머니, 오늘따라 유난히...

 

미끄러워... 보이시네요

 

네가 너무 자랑스럽구나!

 

엄마

 

- 전부 다 예뻤어!

-

 

난 헛산거 같구나

 

뭔가 할 생각은 안하고
질투나 하고...

 

엄마, 거기까지!

 

그래, 몰리 데리고가마

 

메리!

 

솔직히 말해, 어땠어?

 

정말 대단했지만
내 의견은 상관없어

 

이분 의견이
중요하니까!

 

글렌다 힐이야
이쪽은 메리 헤인즈죠

 

삭스 백화점
구매 담당이야

 

안녕하세요

 

오신줄 몰랐어요

 

초대 안받은
패션쇼엔 안가지만

 

실비가 꼭 오라고 해서요

 

안 오면 손해랬는데
그 말이 맞았어요

 

정말요?
정말 감사합니다

 

작은 컬렉션이지만
신선하고 진보적이었어요

 

저희 백화점에서
옷에 손을 봐도 되겠죠?

 

단이나 재킷 조금요

 

삭스 백화점에
납품하라고요?

 

일단 뉴욕본점부터 해보고

 

옷이 잘팔리면
전국 59개점에 붙일게요

 

납고는 봄까지
맞춰주셔야 하고요

 

가능하겠어요?

 

좀 충격받았나봐요

 

- 생각 좀 해볼게요
- 생각한다고요?

 

너무 오래하진 마요

 

생각할게 뭐 있어?

 

- 생각해봐야지
- 무슨 생각?.

 

메리, 너무 멋졌어
정말 자랑스러워

 

미안해서 어쩌지?
먼저 가봐야겠어

 

방금 양수가 터졌어

 

뭐야?.

 

제대로 찾아온 거야?.

 

괜찮아?.
조금만 참아!

 

또 진통이 왔어!

 

맙소사
2분마다 진통이라니!

 

낳을수록
애가 더 빨리 나와

 

저번엔 2시간 만에 낳았어!

 

친구가 아이를 낳는대요
입원실 내놔요!

 

- 의료보험은요?
- 의료보험은 개뿔!

 

4명이나 낳았는데
1명은 공짜로 해줘야지!

 

- 또 진통이 와!
- 1분 간격이야

 

1분? 1분안에 방 내놔요!

 

알았어요
바로 분만실로 가시죠

 

- 누가 지도할 거죠?
- 저요

 

- 아냐, 알렉스에게 맡길래
- 뭐? 나?

 

네게 좋은 경험이 될거야
걱정마, 도와줄게

 

- 맙소사!
- 저런

 

엄청 큰 아기 같아

 

내 쪽으로 오지 마
언제 터질지 몰라!

 

어서!

 

글렌다 힐의 취향은
세계 최고야

 

정말 거물인데
왜 안 잡았어?

 

- 대량주문은 받기 싫었어
- 성공하기 싫어?

 

성공도 정의하기 나름이야

 

난 작은 부티크로도
행복할 수 있어

 

챙겨야 할 딸도 있잖아

 

네 딸이 널
완전히 다시 봤어

 

원하는 걸 이루는
모습을 보여준 게 중요해!

 

모든 걸 가질 순 없다잖아

 

난 가질 수 있다고 봐
원치 않을 뿐이지

 

난 다 가지기 싫어
부분만으로도 만족해!

 

나도 전부는 싫어
그러다간 지쳐!

 

우린 뭐든 할 수 있어
남자 없이도 말이야

 

넌 정말 좋은 여자야
얼마나 사랑스러운지 몰라!

 

새 남자를?

 

이번엔 진짜 번호도
가르쳐줄 거야

 

기분이 어땠어?

 

잘 모르겠어
그게 말이야...

 

생각 말고
네 감정 말해봐

 

그때 내 느낌은...

 

말도 못하게 떨렸어

 

내 강아지를
보호소에서 찾았을 때처럼!

 

곧 나오겠어요
들어오세요

 

남편 불러!
그 화상 어디 간 거야!

 

오고 있다니까!

 

넌 왜 호흡도 못해!
뭐가 어렵다고?

 

이렇게!

 

쟤 돌아버리기 전에
빨리들 와!

 

내가 갈께

 

정글 레드네?
멋지다

 

내 목소리 잘들어!
내 목소리!

 

또 진통 옵니다!

 

이디, 침착, 침착...

 

나 다신 섹스 안해!
그냥 막아버릴 거야

 

이번엔 잘견뎠어
아주 잘했어

 

어떤 것 같아요?

 

몇 번만 더 힘주면 돼요
애 머리가 크네요

 

머리가 보여요?

 

내 전화야!

 

여보세요?
스티븐!

 

- 큰 거 하나 옵니다!
- 메리!

 

기다려
이디, 트리 보이지?

 

트리에 집중해서
모든 고통을 거기에 날려!

 

아주 잘하셨어요!

 

더는 못 보겠다!

 

이디가 애낳는 중이라
다시 걸게

 

아냐, 끊지 마
통화 계속해!

 

- 나랑 데이트하고 싶대
- 잘됐네!

 

잘됐다고?
난 아직도 분하단 말야!

 

지나면 잊을 거야
내 남편처럼!

 

또 뭔소리야?.

 

충격받은 척하지 마

 

5년 전 일이야

 

남편이 알고
날 죽이려 했어

 

하지만 날 용서했어
바로는 아니지만...

 

왠 줄 알아?.
좋은 사람이니까!

 

나도 그이도 서로
사랑한단 걸 알았거든

 

애들도 사랑하고!

 

이제 그만 얘기할래
너무 힘들어서 낳아버릴래!

 

지금 바로!
빨리 애 받아요!

 

스티븐, 이렇게 하자

 

내 잘못부터 말할게
난 솔직하지 못했어

 

하지만 이젠
내가 원하는 걸 알아

 

사랑하는 사람이
내 편이었음 해

 

하지만 노력이 없다면
힘들거야

 

믿음은 쉽게 안 생기니까!

 

동의한다면
화요일 8시에 만나줄게

 

바빠서 시간이 없거든!

 

- 머리가 보여요
- 그럼 끊어!

 

자, 산모 어깨랑
무릎 잡아요

 

마지막으로 힘줘요!

 

축하드려요

 

아들입니다!

 

이디가 애를 낳았어!

 

너무 귀엽다
어쩜!

 

안녕, 꼬마야...

 

[BARKlNG]

WOMAN: Get that thing away.
Has that ugly mutt had its shots?

SYLVlE: Go for the shoes, bad shoes.
Last season's markdowns.

 

WOMAN:
Oh, I never.

 

SYLVlE:
It's okay, sweetie.

 

There's a word for a woman like that.

 

And it's rarely used outside a kennel.

 

Okay, puppy, five minutes
to shop the first floor. Go.

 

-Here?
WOMAN 1 : That's right.

 

WOMAN 2:
Do you know about that list?

 

WOMAN 3: No.
-It's like that, but you know, l....

 

WOMAN 4:
Oh, I need some blush.

 

WOMAN 5:
Girl, I gotta be....

 

WOMAN 6: Complimentary sampler
of our new cream with any $25 purchase.

 

How about you?

 

Would you like to get a facelift in a jar?

 

This is my face, deal with it.

 

[GRUNTlNG]

 

[CELL PHONE CHlMlNG]

 

Hey, Sylvie.

 

I'm looking at a woman right now
who should be in my magazine.

 

Caption: "There's a fine line
between an outfit and a getup."

 

Heh, heh. Where are you right now?
You're not shopping, are you?

 

Of course, I deserve it.

 

I was in my office at 6 this morning.

 

I love Saturdays at the office,
no one there to distract me.

 

Hey, shouldn't you be
on your way here right now?

 

What time is it, anyway?

 

Mary, what are you doing?

 

Are you having sex?

 

Would I be on the phone with you?

 

Don't answer that.

 

I'm on my way upstairs for a manicure.

 

What time is your little do today?

 

Oh, for the third time, 12:30, okay?

 

And do not be late, Sylvie,
I need you here.

 

Please, when am I ever late?

 

- Ha.
- I'll see you 12:30-ish?

 

No, no, no "ish."

 

No "ish."

 

[CHUCKLlNG]

 

WOMAN 7: Hi, welcome to Saks.
Would you like to try...?

 

- Hello, Ms. Fowler, how have you been?
- Aretha needs water.

 

Sparkling or still?

 

Whatever. She drinks out of the toilet.

 

Tanya's ready for you, Ms. Fowler.

 

SYLVlE: Are you Tanya?
- Yeah, that's me. Have a seat.

 

That's your name?
Or are you really Susie from Brooklyn?

 

If it's a long story, don't tell me,
I'm in a hurry.

 

I was born Eileen,
if you wanna know the truth.

 

I went to this numerologist who said...

 

...to change my life,
I should change my name.

 

I was working at Mr. Ronnie's
on Astoria Boulevard. Do you know it?

 

I don't get out to Queens
as much as I'd like.

 

The day I changed my name,
a limousine pulls up in front of the shop.

 

You're never gonna believe
who gets out. Madonna.

 

- I have to be at a luncheon at 1.
- Anyway, I can't believe it.

 

I look at her nails, thinking,
"What kind of butcher did this? "

 

So I gave her a manicure
like she's never had in this life.

 

Switch.

 

I use my own polish.

 

I mix my own colors. I have a gift.

 

The luncheon's in Connecticut.
That's a whole other state.

 

I put Jungle Red on her.
I'll never forget it.

 

Next thing, Saks is calling me saying
Madonna's raving about my manicure...

 

...and do I want a job.

 

- So you wanna try my Jungle Red?
- Hmm. Not bad.

 

I put this on one of the girls
behind the perfume counter.

 

She just moved to town, bang,
she's having an affair with a married man.

 

Who isn't? If you can't speed this up,
I'm gonna have to come back.

 

- What's your Wednesday like?
- Oh, I'll check.

 

The married-man thing is tricky, isn't it?
Especially when the guy's well-known.

 

He's some big hoo-hah on Wall Street.

 

I can never remember that guy's name.
Everybody knows him.

 

Wednesday, Wednesday.... Haines.

 

That's it, something Haines.

 

It wouldn't, by any chance,
be Stephen Haines, would it?

 

Uh, yeah, that's it.

 

Wednesday, 11 or 2?

 

You know, Wednesday isn't good.

 

I think I'd better get this
taken care of now.

 

Oh, great, okay.

 

So you're telling me that Stephen Haines
is having an affair with a salesgirl?

 

What do you think that's all about?

 

If you ever saw Crystal Allen,
you wouldn't have to ask.

 

[PEOPLE CHATTERlNG AND
MUSlC PLAYlNG OVER SPEAKERS]

 

EDlE:
Yes, buzz, buzz, I hear you.

 

I swear to God,
it scares me to come here.

 

I'll be a few minutes.

 

I parked on 78th Street
in front of a vacuum-cleaner store.

 

Don't let me forget.

 

- Why would you forget?
- I just heard something, Edie.

 

It was very disturbing.

 

I don't know, I almost rear-ended
somebody on the way here.

 

April, give Mommy her hat.

 

May, teach June how to braid
her hair like Mommy taught you.

 

And, hello,
don't we say hi to Aunt Sylvie?

 

- Hi, kids.
GlRL 1 : No way.

 

GlRL 2:
I don't want to.

 

- They love you, they love you.
GlRL 1 : She scares me.

 

Dora, I'm getting ready to leave.

 

I have a splitting headache.
You have aspirin?

 

EDlE: Sylvie, what did you hear?
Where is my purse?

 

GlRL 3:
Come here, June.

 

- Wait, what's that supposed to be?
- Oh, I'm painting now.

 

Painting?
Wait, what about the pottery thing?

 

Weren't you taking
some puppet-making class?

 

Let me tell you something.

 

Weird crowd of people,
the puppet people.

 

I'd go insane living here.
I don't know how Alan does it.

 

Oh, Alan moved out.

 

SYLVlE:
Whoa, what?

 

Oh, it's okay.

 

He's down in a studio
on the eighth floor.

 

I thought he could use a little space.

 

- Dora!
- Let's just go, I can't focus.

 

EDlE: Dora?
- Will you drive?

 

Sylvie, whatever you heard,
if it's about anybody we know...

 

...don't tell me, I mean it.

 

Of course I won't tell you.
It's too personal.

 

It's about someone we know, isn't it?

 

Mrs. Edie,
we're running low on breast milk.

 

Oh, I have the pump in my bag.

 

It plugs into the cigarette lighter
in the car.

 

SYLVlE:
Well, forget it, you're not driving.

 

How are you today, little Miss January?
How are you?

 

[CRYlNG]

 

Forget it, let's go.

 

[SPEAKS lNDlSTlNCTLY]

 

MARY:
Lucy, Lucy, Lucy, sit, stay, lay down.

 

Hey, Maggie, did you remember
to polish the silver for the, uh--?

 

- Lunch?
- Yes, lunch.

 

- Yeah, yes, ma'am.
MARY: Oh, boy.

 

How did it get to be noon?

 

I have 60 women
on their way here for lunch.

 

I haven't even showered.

 

MAGGlE: Did you remember
to pick up my dry-cleaning?

 

MARY: Yes, I remembered
to pick up your dry-cleaning.

 

What is wrong with this picture?

 

How lovely. Thank you.

 

MARY:
Okay, dog, clean.

 

Bread, flowers and-- Oh.

 

Hey, um, do you know where the thing that
I made with the whatsits around the edge?

 

- Bowl with the freesias.
- Yeah, where is that?

 

MAGGlE:
Right in front of you.

 

Oh, yeah, I think the tortellini
will fit in that.

 

- What do you think, Uta?
- Oh, look at this.

 

The face of the Virgin Mary appeared
on a rag at a car wash in Los Angeles.

 

It's hard to believe that you were born
in a country that hands out the Nobel Prize.

 

That's Sweden.
How many times do I have to tell you?

 

I'm Danish.

 

Like the pastry.

 

- Mom, what's going on?
- Hey, honey.

 

You're supposed to help me
with my book report.

 

Oh, my God, I just completely forgot.

 

- I'm so sorry.
- It's due Monday.

 

Yes, but today is the luncheon for the park.
I'm co-chair.

 

Which is more important?
Some piece of grass or my education?

 

Molly, I don't know why you save
these things till the last minute, honestly.

 

- Uta can help you with your book report.
- That's her job.

 

Nicole Kidman has cellulite.

 

Where? Let me see.

 

- Oh.
MAGGlE: I think they drew that in.

 

Let's do it--
We'll finish it after the lunch.

 

- No, we can't, I have to finish the--
- Sketches.

 

--sketches which are late.

 

- Then I've to pick up--
- Airline tickets.

 

Why do you always save these things
for the last minute?

 

Molly Jane Haines,
is that any way to talk to your mother?

 

MAGGlE:
Chocolate macadamia cookies.

 

[SLURPlNG]

 

No, that's like five points.

 

- Since when are you counting calories?
- Since I'm fat.

 

Since you're fat?

 

Oh, honey, you're not fat, you're perfect.

 

I'll just do the book report myself.

 

- Now, go take a shower.
- Oh, yeah.

 

She thinks she's fat.

 

MAGGlE:
Oh, your father called.

 

He wants you to have lunch with him
when you come back from your vacation.

 

My father wants to have lunch with me?
Don't remember the last time he wanted to.

 

MAGGlE:
He said it was important.

 

Oh, Maggie, I think I know
what this is about.

 

I think he's getting ready
to hand me the business.

 

- Know how long I've been waiting?
- Years, you've been waiting.

 

- Just years.
- Years.

 

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.

 

Oh. Lucy, Lucy, Lucy, off, off, off.

 

Molly, how many times have I told you,
no dogs on the bed?

 

MOLLY:
Lucy, off. Go on.

 

- Hey, Mom?
- Yeah.

 

MOLLY: How come you design clothes
you wouldn't be caught dead in?

 

That's what your grandfather
manufactures.

 

Those are his customers,
but they're not gonna be mine.

 

What's this?

 

That is a travel coffee filter.

 

[DOORBELL RlNGlNG]

 

Here they come.
The population of Salem has just dropped.

 

All right, all right,
keep your Wonderbras on.

 

It's just a mess now.
Who knows if it's gonna come out?

 

- It's a brand-new Lexus.
- It's gonna come out, it's from nature.

 

Just calm down.

 

She splattered breast milk
all over the dashboard.

 

- Do you have a rag?
MAGGlE: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, here.

 

Maggie, Maggie, can you please put this
in the refrigerator for me?

 

I'll put it right next to the 2-percent.

 

Okay, thank you.

 

Oh, my God.

 

I can't believe you're here.

 

You know what? I don't know
that I've ever seen you in the daylight.

 

You haven't.

 

[CHUCKLlNG]

 

EDlE:
Hello, I'm Edie Cohen.

 

Natasha.

 

- Natasha...?
- Just Natasha.

 

Oh.

 

Well, very nice to meet you,
just Natasha.

 

Natasha's a supermodel.

 

I hate that word. Do not call me that.

 

It objectifies me.

 

I'm a person, not an accessory.

 

ALEX:
Okay, fine. You're not a purse.

 

I'm gonna go and get something to drink.
Don't talk about me.

 

She just finished anger management.

 

Well, what does she have
to be angry about?

 

- She's hungry.
- Oh.

 

When are you just gonna settle down
with someone who's right for you?

 

Like a man? Please.

 

You know that I accept you
as my gay friend.

 

Thank you.

 

But all of a sudden, half the world is gay.
Explain that.

 

You just don't understand
how much better it is...

 

...being in a relationship with a woman.

 

If we're lost, we both ask for directions.

 

When we watch TV,
we watch one show at a time.

 

Nobody drinks out of the milk carton
or asks you to pull their finger...

 

...or obsesses over their decreasing ability
to piss 30 feet.

 

- And when we have sex--
- Oh, no, my....

 

--neither one of us wants it
with the lights on.

 

Are you jealous yet?

 

Hey, you owe me a hundred bucks
to have my car detailed, okay?

 

And tell me, Dorothy Parker...

 

...how much longer am I gonna have to wait
for your second book, huh?

 

I'd like to print an excerpt
before I'm dead.

 

You see, you don't just dash off a book
full of sharply observed, hilarious...

 

...yet deeply intelligent essays,
to quote The New York Times.

 

SYLVlE: Yeah, that was six years ago.
Let's get on with it, huh?

 

She's a little distracted.
Did you see her date?

 

Hm.

 

So is Mary in here?

 

It's just so generous of you to open
your gorgeous home for Central Park.

 

Your mother was chair
of the women's committee for many years.

 

Yes, and it's very important to her
that I carry on the tradition.

 

- And me, of course.
- Well, of course.

 

I don't know
how you manage things in your life...

 

...and still make time
for your charitable work.

 

- Oh, well, pharmaceuticals.
- Oh, heh, heh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

 

[CHUCKLlNG]

 

There's a champagne buffet
out on the lawn.

 

Barbara, please help yourself.

 

- Oh, amazing, you're here on time.
- Hey, what do you mean?

 

I'm always on time.
You're the one who's late.

 

Will you put that thing away?

 

So impressive turnout. Congrats.

 

- Well, thanks for opening up your Rolodex.
- Hey, what are best friends for?

 

- What's wrong? Nothing.
- What's wrong? Nothing.

 

- Why are you asking?
- You looked at me funny.

 

- What's going on?
- Nothing.

 

Yeah, something. Your eyes just shifted.

 

- You're not telling me something.
- I tell you everything.

 

And what's with you,
and your tense shoulders up to your ears?

 

Oh. Okay, I wasn't gonna say anything...

 

...but I think my father's getting ready
to hand me the, uh....

 

- Business?
- Yes.

 

- Wow. Is that a good thing?
- Of course, yes, it's a great thing.

 

It's a fantastic thing,
it's just a lot to take on.

 

I have to talk to Stephen.
He's not gonna be thrilled.

 

Stephen, right.
So where is he on a Saturday afternoon?

 

The office, where he has been
almost every day and night...

 

...for the last month,
working on some hedge fund.

 

Hmm.

 

- Really? Ahem.
- Yeah, but in 24 hours...

 

...we are gonna be sipping cappuccino
at the Piazza San Marco.

 

[CHUCKLES]

 

- Are you sure you're all right?
- I'm fine. I'm just kind of hungry.

 

I'll get something to eat.

 

- Oh. Oh.
- Oh.

 

- No, that's okay.
- Lucy.

 

[CHATTERlNG]

 

- Take this.
- Oh, no.

 

You have to.
You can come work for me.

 

- Oh, my.
- Take the card.

 

- No, I won't do it.
- Please take the card, sweetheart. Take it.

 

[MOUTHlNG]

 

No carbohydrates at all, which is fine...

 

...because the human body
does not need them.

 

- Hey, cute dress.
MOLLY: Thanks.

 

Cool shades.

 

- There you go.
- Thanks.

 

SYLVlE:
Cheers.

 

Edie, that's a lot of food.
Where are you putting it?

 

Well, I might as well tell you.

 

You'll find out soon enough.

 

I'm eating for two.

 

- Aw. For crying out loud, Edie, jeez.
- Oh, my God.

 

- Don't you ever say no?
- How many kids do you need?

 

- What's happening?
- Edie's knocked up again.

 

Oof. Ugh.

 

- Are you sure?
- Of course I'm sure.

 

- I wanna keep going until I get a boy.
- Don't we have enough of those?

 

You know what?
You two don't understand.

 

There's absolutely nothing
more thrilling...

 

...than knowing that you're actually
growing a human being inside of you.

 

Right, Mary?

 

Well, you know,
I was going through some junk...

 

...in the attic the other day,
and I saw this box labeled "jars."

 

Yes, I am a jar saver.

 

And I open up the box, anyway,
and I look in there, and it's not jars.

 

It's just a whole pile
of Molly's baby clothes.

 

I just picked up one of those little rompers,
I could just feel the tug on my uterus, so....

 

What are you saying?
You're thinking about having another baby?

 

I don't know, you know. I'd never thought
about having more than one, but lately....

 

Maybe since I know the gate's closing,
I don't know.

 

- What?
- Nothing.

 

Something.

 

I've gotta pee.

 

For the 1 0th time today.

 

I'll be right back.

 

[KNOCKlNG ON DOOR]

 

- Edie.
- What, uh, are you doing?

 

I wasn't gonna say anything,
but now I have to.

 

Mary is like my sister.

 

I told you, Sylvie, I don't wanna know.

 

Oh, it's about Mary?

 

- This is in the vault, right?
- Vault.

 

- Stephen is having an affair.
- Oh, my God. How do you know?

 

The new manicurist at Saks told me.

 

He's fooling around with some woman
who works behind the perfume counter.

 

- The spritzer girl?
- Yeah, can you believe that?

 

What do you think she sells?
Chanel No. Shit?

 

So, what are you saying?
You wanna tell Mary?

 

Of course not, but she's talking
about having another baby.

 

Oh, this is very dangerous, Sylvie.

 

What if the story isn't true?
How much can you trust a manicurist?

 

Oh, they know everything.
Manicurists and florists.

 

It's frightening how much information
those people are carrying.

 

I don't think we should say anything.
It could come back to haunt us.

 

- The affair could be over for all we know.
- True.

 

Besides, I don't know anyone
who's gotten into trouble...

 

...for keeping their mouth shut.

 

I mean, I know things about my friends.

 

And I mean, things.

 

Me too.

 

- Cheap hand towels.
- Let's go.

 

EDlE:
Right.

 

Oh. I forgot to pee.

 

[HONKlNG]

 

WOMAN 1 : Hey!
- Oh, no.

 

- Thank you so much.
- Oh, everything was wonderful, Mary.

 

I must have the name of your caterer,
so yummy.

 

Oh. No, I made everything myself. I think
people appreciate the personal touch.

 

You cooked?

 

Oh, Mary, how could you?
What were you thinking?

 

Now we'll all have to do that.

 

And not all of us are you.

 

Anyway, congratulations
on a successful event.

 

Phone for you. It's him.

 

MARY: Bye.
WOMAN 2: Bye.

 

Hey, honey, they're almost gone.

 

It's safe to come home.

 

Since we're leaving
in the morning tomorrow...

 

...Iet's just eat out, and....

 

Stephen?

 

Ste--

 

Stephen,
it took forever to plan this trip...

 

...and we both really need a vacation.

 

Yeah, no, there has to be some way.

 

All right.

 

Okay, I'll call the travel agent.

 

I guess, uh, Venice will still be there.

 

When are you coming home?

 

Oh, okay, then I won't wait up.

 

All right, bye.

 

That goddamn office
is sucking the life out of him.

 

- Well, something definitely is.
- Sylvie.

 

SYLVlE: Come on.
- We didn't mean to be listening in.

 

No, no, it's okay.
Thank you so much for coming.

 

It meant a lot to me.

 

Are you gonna be okay?
I would stay, but we carpooled.

 

I'm so sorry,
I've got the little ones at home.

 

No, no, I'm fine. I'm gonna be fine.

 

Okay.

 

Goddamn it.

 

Ned, you gotta back me on this.

 

It's time to stop talking down
to our readers.

 

That's the way CA CHET
is gonna distinguish itself.

 

You talk about branding the magazine.

 

How about we become
the thinking woman's fashion book?

 

Bring on the provocative writers.

 

We stop putting little Hollywood twits
on the cover.

 

Yes, I know the twits sell,
but, Ned, you hired me for a reason.

 

Let me do my job.

 

This time next year,
you'll look like a genius.

 

- Mary's on three.
- Uh, Ned, I got Ralph Lauren on the line.

 

I gotta go.

 

So how was lunch with Dad?

 

How does it feel to be head
of your own design house?

 

- He fired me.
SYLVlE [ON PHONE] : What?

 

Yeah, my own father.

 

He said I was spreading myself too thin
and that it showed in my work.

 

Excuse me, but designing
the perfect little frock...

 

...for a woman to wear home
from hip-replacement surgery...

 

...is not exactly my work.

 

Oh, honey.

 

Come to my office,
the Grey Goose rep was just here.

 

We'll open a bottle and bitch about the men
who don't believe in us.

 

What? Is Ned riding you again?

 

Oh, I mean, that's just absolutely absurd.

 

That must feel terrible.

 

- Why doesn't he just trust your vision?
- Well, it's a crisis of confidence.

 

I can feel it.

 

I need to pull a couple of great writers
onto this magazine, and fast.

 

MARY:
Well, you can do that. Stop at nothing.

 

I love you, you know that?

 

Whoa. Well, you wouldn ' t if you saw me.
My hair looks terrible.

 

Could you get me into Saks for a haircut?
Is that okay?

 

Don't go to Saks. They'll butcher you.

 

Hey! Hey!

 

Wait, what are you talking about?
That woman just did the rudest thing.

 

Your hair always looks great.

 

- Anyway, love you, mean it, bye.
- Mary.

 

Mary?

 

Women.

 

[CHATTERlNG]

 

Hello, I'm Mary Haines, and my friend
Sylvie Fowler called ahead for me.

 

Yes, she did.
We can squeeze you in, but not for an hour.

 

- I'm really sorry.
- Oh.

 

Oh.

 

Well, can I get a manicure while I wait?

 

- Let me check.
- Okay.

 

Let's see.

 

- Okay, Tanya's had a cancellation.
- Great.

 

- First table, straight back.
- Okay, thank you.

 

Oh.

 

Okay. Tanya?

 

Tanya?

 

- Hi, they told me to come right back here.
- Oh, sure, have a seat.

 

Well, let's have a look.

 

Oh, my, what have we done
to ourselves?

 

MARY:
Oh, I retiled my bathroom.

 

- Seriously?
- Yeah.

 

TANYA:
Oh, God.

 

Oh, I was thinking
about something neutral.

 

Wanna maybe take a walk
on the wild side?

 

- How about this? Jungle Red.
- That's a little too much for me.

 

How about this? This is nice.

 

French Fawn, whatever. Okay.

 

What's that perfume you're wearing?

 

- Something my husband gave me.
- Oh, where have I smelled that before?

 

I know. That's the same stuff
that my friend wears.

 

She works the perfume counter
downstairs.

 

Expensive stuff.

 

But she's got expensive taste, that one.

 

- Her name's Crystal Allen.
- Who?

 

My friend at the perfume counter.
That girl needs a man with money.

 

She's got one now too. Married, though.

 

Narciso Rodriguez is just amazing.

 

The guy she hooked,
his picture's always in the business pages.

 

For Crystal, that's like the classifieds
for a husband.

 

I can never remember that guy's name.
Everyone knows him.

 

- That's a beautiful ring, by the way.
- Oh, thank you.

 

TANYA: On the wrong hand, though.
- It's the right hand.

 

My girlfriends gave it to me.
We gave each other one.

 

Haines, that's his name. Stephen Haines.

 

I was there when she met him.
Oh, boy, what a performance.

 

This Haines guy walks up
to the counter...

 

...serious type, expensive suit,
good-looking, little thinning on top...

 

...and he says he wants to buy
some perfume for his wife.

 

"What type of woman is she? "
Crystal says.

 

He says, "The kind that smells like soap."
Which I thought was sweet.

 

But for Crystal, it was a challenge.

 

So then she says,
"Would you prefer something sexier? "

 

And she runs her eyes up and down him...

 

...the way a big cat looks
at a slow wildebeest.

 

I felt kind of bad for the guy.
He didn't stand a chance.

 

So then she picks up
the tester bottle of Jezebel--

 

That's the stuff you're wearing.

 

--she sprays it on her wrist and her arm
for him to smell...

 

...he starts sniffing around.

 

I guess he liked it more than he planned.

 

To tell you the truth,
I think this was a game for Crystal...

 

...until he took out his credit card,
and then she recognized his name.

 

And then what happened?

 

She really pursued him.
Then they just started seeing each other.

 

He takes her for nice dinners,
buys her clothes...

 

...sends her flowers in a vase.

 

- You know, the kind you keep.
MARY: I don't think that....

 

I don't think that, um....

 

I'm....

 

I just remembered
that I have to go somewhere.

 

Oh, I'm so sorry.
Was I talking too much again?

 

You know, I just try to entertain my clients
when they're sitting here, Mrs...?

 

Haines.

 

Oh, God.

 

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
I'm so, so sorry, I had no idea.

 

Oh, me and my big mouth.
Is there anything I could do--?

 

No, just stop telling that story. I mean it.

 

I'll never mention it again.
I promise, I promise, Mrs. Haines.

 

Donna.

 

Good dirt. Oh, my God.

 

MARY:
Hello, it's Mary for Sylvie again.

 

Is she still in that meeting?

 

Yes, if you could please have her call me
as soon as she gets out. Thank you.

 

Am I late?

 

I'm sorry, Mom.

 

I heard what happened.
Your father is a real shit.

 

I ordered you a gimlet.

 

I know,
you don't drink in the afternoon...

 

...but you will eventually,
so why not start now?

 

You wanna see a bad facelift?

 

Helen Danvers, 2 o'clock.

 

She looks like she's re-entering
the Earth's atmosphere.

 

Honey, what can I do?
Do you want me to punish Daddy?

 

- Mom, Stephen's having an affair.
- What?

 

I can't believe those words
came out of my mouth.

 

- That just makes me sick to my stomach.
- Who is she, one of your friends?

 

No, she sells perfume at Saks.

 

She's a spritzer girl?

 

I mean, how could I not have known?

 

Three months ago,
he bought cowboy boots.

 

I just can't believe this is happening to me.
I thought we were happy.

 

- What are you gonna do?
- What do you mean?

 

- I'm gonna tell him to move out.
- Well, that's not very smart.

 

Someone once said...

 

...that when you don't know
what to do, do nothing.

 

Mom, my husband of 13 years
is having an affair.

 

I mean, do they talk about me
when they're in bed?

 

Do they laugh at me?

 

Please don't tell me to pretend
that nothing happened.

 

You have no idea how this feels.

 

Well, let me try.

 

It feels like someone
kicked you in the stomach.

 

It feels like your heart stopped beating.

 

It feels like that dream.

 

You know, the one where you're falling
and you want so desperately to wake up...

 

...before you hit the ground,
but it's all out of your control.

 

You can't trust anything anymore.

 

No one is who they say they are.

 

Your life is changed forever.

 

And the only thing to come out
of the whole ugly experience...

 

...is no one will ever be able
to break your heart like that again.

 

I can't believe you never told me that.

 

I wanted you to love your father.

 

Jeez, I mean, who was she?

 

Some little skank who sold fabric.

 

I met her once.

 

She wore too much makeup
and her bra straps were always showing.

 

- What did you do when you found out?
- Nothing.

 

Nothing?

 

I had a smart mother too.

 

Mary, that girl does not mean
anything more to Stephen...

 

...than the fabric whore
meant to your father.

 

If he loved her, believe me,
you would have felt it.

 

I can't fake it, Mom.
I can't be anywhere near him right now.

 

Then this is what I think we should do.

 

It's spring break.
We'll go away for a couple of weeks.

 

There is nothing like a heavy dose
of a man's mistress...

 

...to make him miss his wife.

 

What do you think this is,
some kind of 1930s movie?

 

That's ridiculous.

 

Can I remind you of something?

 

You have a daughter, just like I did.

 

This is not just about you.

 

Call Stephen.

 

Tell him I invited you and Molly
up to the cottage in Maine.

 

We'll leave tomorrow.

 

And I wouldn't discuss this
with any of your friends.

 

They'll all want to help,
and before you know it...

 

...you'll be taking care of them
instead of yourself.

 

Oh, my God.

 

I'm so sorry for you, baby.

 

But it's nice to know
you still need your mama.

 

ALEX:
Was that a sunrise we just saw?

 

Because I'm on the wrong side
of that thing.

 

Alex, stop complaining.

 

I just thought Mary could use a few pals
to take her to the airport.

 

You know why I don't
cultivate friendships?

 

So I don't have to take anyone
to the airport.

 

WOMAN'S VOlCE [ON GPS DEVlCE] :
A t the next intersection, make a left turn.

 

- Who the hell was that?
- The navigation lady.

 

She's always calm. She never talks back.
My husband's in love with her.

 

All right, I'm sensing something here.

 

Something's not being said.

 

- What's going on that I don't know about?
- Nothing's going on.

 

What would make you say that?

 

Alex, what is your take
on Mary and Stephen's marriage?

 

[SPEAKS lNDlSTlNCTLY]

 

Um....

 

It looks perfect on the outside...

 

...but there's definitely something
going on there.

 

You know Mary doesn't like
looking at the cracks.

 

She's too busy filling them.

 

Our girl is all blue sky.

 

But sooner or later....

 

Why?

 

Mary doing somebody? Heh, heh.

 

- What makes you think it's Mary?
SYLVlE: Edie.

 

- ls Stephen having an affair on Mary?
- Oh, for God's sake, Edie.

 

- What a mouth.
- I didn't say anything!

 

Is it somebody we know?

 

- Vault?
- Vault.

 

- Spritzer girl, Saks.
- No.

 

- Oh, my God, how's she taking it?
- Oh, she doesn't know.

 

What do you mean, she doesn't know?

 

What is wrong with you two?

 

We're in the vault, she's not?
Drag her ass into the vault.

 

Look, I have been struggling
with this for days, okay?

 

Mary and I have been best friends
since college.

 

- I think she should be told.
- Uh, yeah.

 

Or we just don't say anything.

 

Sylvie, Mary has to know, okay?

 

Now, that's the right thing to do.

 

You want me to tell her?

 

Because I'll tell her.

 

I don't have a problem with it.

 

[HONKlNG]

 

SYLVlE: Hi.
MARY: Hi, I could've taken a cab.

 

No, no, I know you sent, you know,
Molly to be with your mom.

 

And why should you
go to the airport alone?

 

MARY: All right, so you have all
the numbers at the house.

 

All the information.

 

- Oh, will you call the vet please, Dr...?
- I will, Dr. Jones.

 

Oh, and the guy from the place
is coming to fix the....

 

- The sink, at 2.
MARY: Next week, Tuesday at 2.

 

- Okay.
MAGGlE: That too.

 

MARY: Oh, hi.
- Hey.

 

MARY: What are you guys doing here?
- Just get in, okay?

 

- Come on, get in.
- No, let's get out.

 

Mary, there's a reason
why we are all here with you today.

 

Sylvie has something
she wants to talk to you about.

 

This is really hard, Mary, okay? I--

 

Oh, is this about the perfume bitch?

 

[GASPlNG]

 

You knew and you didn't tell me?

 

Right now, honest to God,
Mary, I'm so hurt.

 

- You?
- Yeah.

 

This isn't happening to you,
this is happening to me.

 

I was trying to figure out how to tell you.

 

SYLVlE: I'm not saying I didn't--
MARY: How can you not tell me?

 

All right, all right, all right!

 

It's out in the open, okay?

 

Fine, what I wanna know is,
what did he say when you confronted him?

 

I didn't confront him.
He doesn't know I know.

 

- What do you mean?
- Mary, that is ridiculous.

 

MARY:
I'm not proud of it.

 

EDlE:
What are you saying?

 

ALEX:
He's supposed to know that you know.

 

[SPEAKlNG lNDlSTlNCTLY]

 

Okay, okay! All right, I appreciate
all of you trying to help, I really do.

 

But please, don't dissect and analyze
every square inch of this right now.

 

I can't take it.

 

Just be there for me silently.

 

Okay, let's go.

 

I should not be operating
heavy machinery right now.

 

- Hey, Mom?
- Mm-hm.

 

- You know what'd be really cool?
- What?

 

If you and l
got mother-and-daughter tattoos.

 

[LAUGHlNG]

 

Nice try.

 

Come on,
it would change your whole image.

 

MARY:
What's wrong with my image?

 

Never mind.

 

So I can still get
the tattoo, though, right?

 

Yeah, right after I get my nose pierced.

 

How come you never just hear me?

 

I hear you, honey, I hear you.

 

You want a tattoo,
and you're not getting one.

 

I'm gonna go watch television.

 

Oh, Mol. Molly, come on,
stay out here with us.

 

It's a gorgeous day.

 

Is there anything I'm allowed to do?

 

You know, Mom, I think
it's gonna be warm enough this afternoon...

 

...to go for a swim.

 

I'll have to put on a bathing suit.

 

Men, they can just parade around
without a care in the world.

 

At what age do women
start covering themselves with tarps...

 

...just for a stroll on the beach?

 

[CELL PHONE CHlMlNG]

 

- Oh, it's Stephen.
- Don't answer it.

 

Let him think you're doing something
incredibly interesting without him.

 

God, I hate the game-playing.

 

- lt does feel good to get some control.
- Of course it does.

 

He's called three times a day
since we've been here.

 

He's practically begging you
to come home.

 

You can see where his heart is.

 

This would be so much easier
if I didn't love him.

 

There should be a pill that you can take
to make love go away.

 

Why would you wanna
make love go away?

 

It's hard enough to find it
in the first place.

 

[CELL PHONE CHlMlNG]

 

It's Stephen.

 

All right, you can answer it now.

 

MARY:
Hello? Oh, Stephen.

 

SYLVlE:
I'm dying to see what she looks like.

 

Okay, listen, Sylvie,
I'm just gonna put it on the record.

 

This is a bad idea.
We don't have a plan, you don't know--

 

- Oh, my God, would you look at that bag?
- So pretty.

 

Sylvie, I need an advance.

 

I am not going to enable you.

 

Finish your damn book.

 

GlRL 1:
Can I have this bag, Mommy?

 

Mommy, I'm tired of shopping.

 

Can we go? I wanna go.

 

EDlE:
We can't go.

 

Aunt Sylvie is stalking somebody.

 

When she's finished, we can leave.

 

I hate this store!

 

April?

 

I want you to listen to me.

 

I'm gonna say something
very important...

 

...and I want you to remember it
for the rest of your life.

 

Nobody hates Saks.

 

Now, let's do what we came here for.

 

GlRL 2:
Mommy, can we get something to eat?

 

PAT:
Fragrances, this is Pat.

 

- She's with a customer.
GlRL 2: I'm hungry.

 

- Can we eat somewhere soon, Mommy?
- Oh.

 

GlRL 2:
I'm starving.

 

Crystal.

 

Phone for you.

 

It's a guy.

 

Wow.

 

- She is fine.
- Oh, Jesus, Alex, not now.

 

- We've seen her, now let's get out of here.
- Not on your life.

 

Yeah, I'm with Sylvie.

 

Hello?

 

Stephen.

 

I was hoping it was you.

 

How have you been, baby?
I missed you this week.

 

Well, it's cruel and unusual punishment
to be without you this long.

 

I say we make up for lost time.

 

What if I cook us
a romantic dinner tonight?

 

The big white square thing with the fire
coming out of it is the stove.

 

Shh. Oh.

 

No, baby, of course.

 

No, no, no, your work comes first.

 

Don't worry.

 

I'll just save you a piece of cake
with a candle on it.

 

- Phew.
- Huh.

 

Oh, I didn't wanna tell you,
because I didn't want you to make a fuss...

 

...and I'll have other birthdays.

 

I would-- No, no, no.

 

I would feel terrible taking you away
from important business.

 

Are you sure?

 

Oh, baby, I am one happy girl.

 

Okay, I'll see you at 8.
You know where. Mwah.

 

That stupid wife.

 

Ever since she's been gone to wherever,
he's been acting like a lost puppy.

 

I have an audition at 4:00.
Apparently now I'm cooking dinner.

 

How did this all happen?

 

ALEX: You volunteered.
CRYSTAL: Oh, sorry, Pat, but I gotta go.

 

Can you find something to do tonight
so we can have the apartment?

 

PAT:
Fine. And good luck on your audition.

 

Uh, excuse me.
Can I get some help, please?

 

- I was just leaving, but Pat can help you.
- Oh, I was told to ask for Crystal Allen.

 

GlRL 1: Ow, give me that.
EDlE: Oh, no, no.

 

- ls that you?
- Yeah.

 

I've heard you have a special way
of knowing what a customer needs.

 

Really? And where would you hear that?

 

- Around.
GlRL 2: Pretty.

 

I've been wearing Chanel No. 5
since my christening.

 

[GLASS CRASHES]

 

I'm thinking of changing.
What would you suggest?

 

Hmm. Probably nothing too subtle.

 

[LAUGHlNG]

 

You're right about that.

 

You always know exactly
where you stand with me.

 

No, I want a perfume
to be a reflection of my personality.

 

Smart, fearless, clever, loyal...

 

...protective of friends,
ruthless if crossed.

 

GlRL 1:
I want that.

 

You shopping for a perfume
or writing a personal ad? Ha, ha, ha.

 

A friend of mine
is wearing something new.

 

Her husband bought it for her here,
I think.

 

Edie, what's the name of that perfume
that Mary Haines is wearing?

 

- You know, the one Stephen bought for her.
- Ah.

 

Stephen Haines.

 

Maybe you waited on him.

 

He's good-looking, receding hairline.

 

Platinum card.

 

Maybe that rings a bell.

 

Oh, we know you're screwing Stephen,
and Mary is a friend of ours, so you stop it.

 

- Just stop it!
- Shh.

 

So he cheated on you,
and still you said nothing to him?

 

This is not modern, Mary.

 

Ever since I got back from Maine,
it's all flowers and foot rubs...

 

...and, "What can I do for you today? "

 

I mean, maybe my mother is right.
Maybe the affair was no big deal.

 

Maybe treating it that way
actually is the more modern thing.

 

- When did you become French?
- I'm not sleeping with him.

 

- Good. Make him suffer.
- Sylvie, let's stop talking about me, okay?

 

- How's everything with Gary?
- Oh, it's over.

 

He pressed his jeans.

 

[CHUCKLlNG]

 

- You are too choosy.
- No.

 

Yeah, and you know why that is?

 

You're afraid to choose.

 

- No, I am not.
- Yes, yes, you are.

 

Excuse me, I chose once, remember?

 

It was all very nice
until my career took off.

 

"Sylvie, I'm happy for you."

 

He said, " I want you to fly.

 

I just don't think I can be with a woman
who has that kind of wingspan."

 

- That was just him.
- Excuse me, no.

 

I'm sorry, men have a hard time
being with a successful woman.

 

So we shrink to fit, like you.

 

- What are you talking about?
- Yeah, like you were gonna be Donna Karan.

 

And then you put on the brakes
because you could eclipse Stephen.

 

When you fall in love, you don't think
about how it's gonna work out, Sylvie.

 

- You just go with your gut.
- Oh, please.

 

Like my first date with Stephen,
when he gave me that pumpkin.

 

Thank God it was Halloween.

 

That was an irresistible thing,
to be given a pumpkin on your first date.

 

- That's weird.
MARY: It was charming, you know.

 

SYLVlE: Carving a pumpkin?
- We carved it together.

 

We were a really good team.
You know, 13 years.

 

WOMAN: Good afternoon, La Perla.
- Thirteen pumpkins.

 

That is what you think about
when it's all falling apart.

 

It's the pumpkin. The pumpkin matters.

 

I hate Halloween.
All those strangers at the door.

 

You know, someday, when you are not
looking and you're not thinking, Sylvie...

 

...you're gonna meet the man
you wanna marry.

 

I'm the man I wanna marry.

 

That's the problem.

 

Ooh, hey.

 

Sylvie, what do you think of this?

 

- On you?
- Yeah.

 

- Really?
- Yeah.

 

Stephen might get lucky tonight.

 

Mrs. Haines, it's been a while
since we've seen you.

 

Time for a new robe?

 

Hello, Grace. I'd like to try this on.

 

- Really?
- What is everyone's deal?

 

- What...?
WOMAN: I think this is your size.

 

All right, I admit that I underestimated
the value of the slut factor in the bedroom.

 

SYLVlE: Great. Maybe he'll leave some cash
on the nightstand.

 

Oh, I just don't understand
why they put fluorescent lighting...

 

...in dressing rooms.

 

Why would a woman buy anything
if it looks like her thighs...

 

...were hit by a meteor shower?

 

WOMAN:
How are you doing in there, Ms. Allen?

 

- Do you need another size, another color?
CRYSTAL: Oh, no, I like it.

 

Don't go too far. I'm gonna need you.

 

WOMAN:
No problem, Ms. Allen.

 

Okay, wow, is this just too much?
I mean--

 

No, it's-- I think I'll go out,
and just get some other options, huh?

 

CRYSTAL: Is there a mirror with better light?
- Yes.

 

Out here in the hall.
But you probably don't wanna go--

 

I'm not shy.

 

WOMAN:
Hmm.

 

I've got to say, you're my first customer
who's had the courage to try that on.

 

Do you have those cutlet things?

 

- You know, I need some lift.
- Oh, yeah.

 

I think I have to take this.
How much money is it?

 

WOMAN:
It's ltalian handmade lace.

 

That's why it's $650.

 

CRYSTAL: Does it come in any other colors?
- Champagne.

 

Ah. I love champagne.
I'll take it in a champagne as well.

 

Will that be cash or charge?

 

You take personal checks?

 

No, but I'd be happy
to open up a store charge.

 

It only takes a few minutes
to do a credit check.

 

Credit check.

 

I don't have time for a credit check.

 

Hey, what if I gave you the number
of someone who does have a credit card?

 

And I'm sure if you called him,
he'd be happy to give it to you.

 

We can try that.

 

- What's the gentleman's name?
- Stephen Haines.

 

He's a friend of the family.

 

Mrs. Haines is a client of ours.

 

In fact, she's in the dressing room
right across the hall.

 

Would you like me
to have her approve this for you?

 

No.

 

No, no, no.

 

Um, you see, I don't think
that would be in very good taste.

 

You see, I'm relatively new in town,
and I haven't had the pleasure...

 

...of meeting Mrs. Haines yet.

 

I would hate for this
to be our first introduction.

 

I'm sure you understand.

 

I do understand.

 

- I'll phone Mr. Haines.
- Thanks, sweetie.

 

Oh. You don't think it's flattering?

 

- ls that what you're thinking?
- Mary.

 

She's here,
in the dressing room across the hall.

 

Crystal Allen.

 

What?

 

- How do you know?
- I saw her talking to the saleswoman.

 

She's spending a fortune, and, Mary,
she's putting it on Stephen's account.

 

Oh, that's not true.

 

If he's paying her bills, Mary,
it means he's still involved with her.

 

Well, I'm just gonna go home.
Can you just help me out?

 

SYLVlE: Are you leaving?
- Help me off--

 

SYLVlE: Mary, go in there.
- Help me off with this thing.

 

You've been running away
from this whole thing.

 

- What are you afraid of?
- Of being made a bigger fool, Sylvie.

 

Listen to me, that woman is working
her way into another person's life...

 

...and it happens to be yours.

 

And if you don't stand up to her
and face her...

 

...it's a matter of time before she's
carving the pumpkin with your daughter.

 

Now, I'm giving you permission
to behave badly.

 

You go in there and kick her ass.

 

- Go on.
- Okay.

 

- I'll be your cornerman, you just go.
- Go.

 

SYLVlE:
Go.

 

Go on.

 

- You can do it.
- Okay, I can't.

 

- Go.
- I can't do it.

 

MARY:
Oh, shit.

 

- Excuse me?
- Are you kidding me?

 

- Excuse me?
- Are you--?

 

I'm Mary Haines.

 

Right, um.

 

Well, this is awkward.

 

- I guess he finally told you.
- No, no, no.

 

He never mentioned you,
but I've known about you.

 

- Really?
- Yeah.

 

- I'm surprised I haven't heard from you.
- Well, it's not my style.

 

But since you were in the vicinity,
I thought I'd introduce myself.

 

Um, look, Mrs. Haines, I am really sorry
for what this has done to you.

 

And I know Stephen
never meant to hurt you.

 

What? You don't know anything
about my husband.

 

I do know that a woman never steals
another woman's husband.

 

They usually go willingly.

 

Well, it sounds like you have
a lot of experience in that area.

 

You know, Stephen is a very smart man.

 

He's just way too smart
to take someone like you seriously.

 

I mean....

 

Mrs. Haines,
I know so many women like you.

 

You have your fancy friends
and your nice houses...

 

...your calendars are full of social events
and shopping dates and charity lunches...

 

...to make you feel like you're
doing something with your lives.

 

But eventually,
you stop paying attention to your men.

 

They get lonely.

 

And they come looking for someone
who makes them feel appreciated again.

 

And believe me,
they take that very, very seriously.

 

You know, I came in here with...

 

...I admit, just a ridiculous idea
that if you and I ever met...

 

...and you saw
that I was an actual human being...

 

...and not just some stray thought
out in Connecticut...

 

...that you might actually feel
a little bit of remorse.

 

One woman having that transcendent
moment of connect with another.

 

And that you might realize the scope
of the damage that you've done...

 

...not just to me, but to a family.

 

I have no idea what you just said.

 

I know, yeah. So I'm gonna put this
in terms that you can understand.

 

You are gonna stop seeing my husband.

 

I guess that's up to him, isn't it?

 

Listen, let me give you
a little bit of a tip.

 

Stephen....

 

Stephen would never like anything
that, uh, trashy.

 

Well, if Stephen doesn't like
anything I'm wearing, I take it off.

 

You were great, Mary.

 

Get me out of here.

 

MARY:
Who are you, Stephen?

 

- Tell me, what's going on?
- Oh, she is really giving it to him.

 

And he is not saying much,
because, really, I mean...

 

...what could this cheating,
lying bastard say?

 

What else? What else?

 

Oh, so they argue some more,
and then Mary gets very quiet...

 

...and she says,
"Stephen, do you wanna be with her? "

 

- Oh, good move.
- Yeah.

 

Force his hand.

 

And he says, " Mary, I love you."

 

Oh, yeah. Oh, please, predictable.

 

But I think Mary started listening to him.

 

So he keeps talking.

 

He says he never meant
for the affair to turn into anything.

 

And he tried to end it more than once.

 

Men get themselves into things,
then they don't know how to get out of it.

 

But here's
where he makes his big mistake.

 

He says he kept seeing Crystal
because he felt she got dependent on him.

 

- And that he didn't wanna hurt her.
- Hurt her?

 

That's exactly what Mary said,
then she makes her big mistake.

 

She says, " How could you not see
that she's just after your money? "

 

Oh, she blew it.

 

The last thing a man wants to hear is that
his wife is the only one stupid enough...

 

...to love him for himself.

 

Nobody knows how to argue.

 

I should run a school.

 

So now he asks her the big question.

 

Is there any way they can put it all
back together again?

 

You should have heard him.
It would have broke your heart.

 

Oh, who cares?

 

Do we still have jobs or not?

 

Mary said she wants a divorce.

 

- What did he say?
- He says...

 

...he'd wish she'd take some time
and think it over.

 

And that he would spend
the night at a hotel.

 

- What did she say?
- She threw her wedding band at him.

 

Oh, that's bad.

 

- Oh, that's very bad.
- Yeah.

 

MAGGlE:
Where the hell's my address book?

 

I have a woman who keeps offering me
a job. Barbara somebody.

 

What are you doing?
You can't desert them now.

 

[CAR DOOR SLAMS]

 

Oh, my God. Shh.
I hear something.

 

[CAR ENGlNE RUMBLlNG]

 

That's it.

 

We're on a sinking ship, Uta.

 

I have a cardinal rule.

 

Never get attached to the family.
This is exactly why.

 

And that, Uta, is why the revolutionaries
threw tea into Boston Harbor.

 

MARY: I need to eat something.
That's low-fat, low-carb, fat-free....

 

There's fruit everywhere.

 

- Where's the junk?
- You don't let me buy any.

 

UTA:
Why don't I fix you a drink?

 

MARY:
All right.

 

I think you both should know
Stephen and I are splitting up.

 

Yeah, he's been having an affair.

 

- Get out of here.
- I don't believe it.

 

Yeah, yeah.

 

And let me tell you
how stupid I am, okay?

 

I had myself convinced
that it was no big deal.

 

Just a little chapter, not the whole book.

 

And if I just put the old blinders on,
rose above it...

 

...everything would work itself out.

 

Bullshit.

 

I mean, it's not like I was deliriously happy
every single day...

 

...of this marriage, you know?

 

But did I screw around? No.

 

I could have, by the way.

 

I really could have
because men have come on to me plenty.

 

All right, once or twice.

 

But I thought about it,
because this just in :

 

Thirteen years of sex with the same man
can be a little bit boring, all right?

 

I mean, Stephen had his bag of tricks
and I knew them all.

 

But did I complain?

 

Did I go out
and bang the Federal Express guy?

 

And let me tell you something else.

 

Stephen does not know
how good he had it.

 

There is nobody, and I mean nobody,
who's gonna give that man...

 

...a better time in bed than I did.

 

I could suck the nails out of a board,
and that is a fact.

 

Oh, God.

 

God.

 

You can't think straight right now.

 

You know what I do
when I have a problem?

 

Before I go to sleep, I tell myself
I'm gonna wake up with the answer.

 

And that does it. I do.

 

You try it.

 

You go on upstairs
and get a good night's sleep.

 

And tomorrow morning,
it'll all look better.

 

Oh, Maggie.

 

Go on, you'll feel better.

 

I love you guys.

 

She's not gonna dump him.

 

I know how she feels about that man
and how he feels about her.

 

He'll be back in this house
by the end of the week.

 

[CRYlNG]

 

I don't understand.

 

Why did this happen to me?

 

SYLVlE:
Oh, sweetie, listen.

 

Listen, it happens
in every relationship, okay?

 

Eventually,
somebody betrays somebody else.

 

It's either in a big way
or in a million little ones.

 

It's just the nature of it, okay?

 

Oh, Jesus.

 

SYLVlE:
Oh, God.

 

- What am I gonna do?
- You'll figure it out.

 

We'll figure it out.

 

Come on, we need to pull out
the big idea here.

 

We should focus on the cover.
How to get it to pop.

 

Okay, what about this for a cover blurb?
"The 45-Minute Orgasm."

 

Forty-five minutes? Who has the time?

 

[LAUGHlNG]

 

Listen, I really wanna make a statement
with this issue.

 

It's time to cut ourselves away
from the herd, talk up to the reader.

 

JEAN:
I thought we already were.

 

What about the piece we did
on living an authentic life?

 

Oh, come on.

 

We tell women
to feel good about themselves...

 

...and then we print 15 pieces
on crazy diets.

 

We run ads for wrinkle creams,
the models are 20 years old.

 

- We're driving women mad.
- Okay.

 

I know I'm the new kid,
but here's what I would do...

 

...if I were in charge of CA CHET.

 

I would tie each issue to a theme.

 

Brand it.

 

By branding each issue,
we brand the magazine...

 

...giving it a more unique identity
on the newsstand.

 

I would make sure
that each theme had an edge.

 

A sense of humor.

 

For instance, the revenge issue.

 

How to get it, who to stick it to...

 

...the fine art of holding a grudge.

 

We put an actress on the cover,
someone young, hot.

 

And we make the whole thing irresistible.

 

We become the guilty pleasure
of the publishing world...

 

...and that is how we turn it around.

 

Come on, Annie.

 

Revenge? It's so retro.

 

It's old-think.

 

Don't we all have better things to do?
It's the opposite of what I'm talking about.

 

But I would buy that magazine.

 

Uh, I think we should take a break, okay?
Let all this percolate.

 

We'll pick it up after lunch.

 

Just think about it.

 

It's a good idea.

 

Let me tell you,
editors, they live in fear of a girl like that.

 

They walk into your world, you're thinking,
"Wait, am I out of the loop here? "

 

- I mean, "Am I missing the trends? "
- Climb higher.

 

- Can't we take a break?
- No breaks.

 

What are the two most feared words
in English?

 

- " Pool party."
- " Keep climbing."

 

Wait a minute. Let me down, okay?

 

Thanks.

 

Hey, Bailey Smith, right?

 

Sylvie Fowler.
We met at the MTV Awards.

 

Oh, right, right, right, yeah.

 

So how are things
in the hot seat at CA CHET?

 

Well, I'm not gonna be happy
until I take a nice big chunk out of Vogue.

 

- You know how I'm gonna do that?
- How?

 

By putting star writers
on the magazine, like you.

 

Oh, well, that is a nice compliment,
but I'm not for sale.

 

- I'm really happy at The Post.
- Excuse me, but I don't know why.

 

You made a reputation
writing brilliant profiles...

 

...and now
you're writing gossip for a tabloid.

 

Wait, I am syndicated.

 

I don't have to worry
about money anymore.

 

You know, anyway,
I write about people, not fashion.

 

That's what I want you to do.

 

Write about interesting people
in your own irreverent way.

 

You'll sell magazines.

 

I hear your circulation's down.

 

And didn't you have
some staff defections last week?

 

Some people can't take the hills.

 

You know, um, I would consider
doing some pieces for you...

 

...but I would need something in return.

 

Well, you name it.

 

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

 

Well, I'm doing a series of columns
on high-profile New York marriages.

 

I hear one of them is breaking up.

 

Oh. Oh.

 

- You know who I'm talking about.
- I don't know anything.

 

And who cares, anyway?

 

Oh, come on.

 

Messy divorces sell more papers
than presidential campaigns.

 

Sounds like you've written a story.
What you need me for?

 

You know I need confirmation
from some ironclad source.

 

I'm sorry, I can't help you.

 

Just because you wouldn't do
a favor for me...

 

...doesn't mean I won't do one for you.

 

One of my spies said
they saw your publisher last night...

 

...having dinner with Talia Greene
from Harper's Bazaar.

 

Wait, I am not worried, okay?

 

Ned wouldn't replace me.

 

He's completely committed
to my vision for the magazine.

 

Sure, I'm sure.

 

But it's just that I heard that there
was some heavy wooing going on.

 

Bailey, do not print that, okay?

 

What little staff I have left
would smell blood.

 

It would completely destroy
my credibility at CA CHET...

 

...and then I really am out the door.

 

I know, it's incredible, isn't it,
how a little piece of gossip like that...

 

...has the potential
to actually unravel an entire career?

 

Because, really, when you think about it,
where would you go if you left CA CHET?

 

This is the last time
you're picking the restaurant.

 

If they're gonna plaster your life
in the paper...

 

...you would think
they would at least run a decent picture.

 

Especially next to that Crystal.

 

Shouldn't she have to have a permit
to wear a dress like that?

 

You're awfully quiet for a change.

 

Oh, tough day at work, is all.

 

EDlE:
She's here.

 

- Hi.
MARY: Hi.

 

- Alex picked the restaurant, right?
- Heh, heh, heh.

 

- Of course.
- That looks good.

 

So everybody's seen it, right?

 

Okay, no big elephants on the table.

 

Just when you thought
it couldn't get any shittier.

 

Okay, do you wanna have a big laugh
about it right now, huh?

 

Or you wanna run off with a woman?

 

- lf you did, this would be the place.
- Maybe a margarita and a woman.

 

I like that.

 

I think it's gonna be okay, ladies.
She's turned the page.

 

Yeah, I've turned the page.
I hired a lawyer today.

 

Mary, um, don't you think
maybe it's too soon for lawyers?

 

Let things settle down.

 

A month from now,
everything could look different.

 

- What?
- I know.

 

Okay, I'm gonna take a risk here
and say something that may be....

 

There are two sides to every story.

 

Any one of us is capable,
under the right circumstances...

 

...of making a very big mistake.

 

Right? Right?

 

And a good marriage counselor
might ask:

 

"And how were you culpable
in this marriage? "

 

Well, I married an asshole.
That's how I'm culpable.

 

Which side are you on?

 

- I'm not taking sides.
MARY: Well, pick one.

 

I'm on your side.

 

- My money's on you.
- All right.

 

Okay. Here's what I wanna know.

 

I wanna know how somebody
like Bailey Smith faces herself in the mirror.

 

I wanna know how somebody can make a
living feeding off of somebody else's pain.

 

Mary, it's my fault.

 

Okay.

 

Bailey Smith knew
I was about to be fired...

 

...and she knew
that I needed her on the magazine.

 

So she practically blackmailed me.

 

I didn't give her any information.
She had all the details already.

 

She just said, " Nod if it's true."
And that's all I did, is nod.

 

I was in a terrible position.

 

I was scared.

 

You know, people do terrible things
when they're scared.

 

And this is terrible.

 

I know that. I know.

 

What is going on with you?

 

Guys, I'm fighting for a job
that I've worked for my whole life.

 

What was it that you said, Sylvie?

 

You said that betrayal is inevitable
in any relationship.

 

I thought you were just talking
about marriage.

 

This is so much worse.

 

CRYSTAL [ON TV] : You don 't have
what it takes to run a company like this.

 

Now, take a walk and never look back.

 

My father will never let you
get away with this, Ramona.

 

I'm sleeping with your father.

 

[WOMAN ON TV
READlNG ON-SCREEN TEXT]

 

WOMAN [ON TV] :
Who knows moisture better than Dove?

 

For God's sakes.
Middle of the afternoon.

 

Your daughter's gonna be home
from school any minute.

 

You want her to see her mother
in her bathrobe again, huh?

 

I don't look at clocks anymore.
It's very liberating.

 

[PHONE RlNGlNG]

 

Haines residence.

 

Oh. Hello.

 

Heh, heh.
Sure, I still recognize your voice.

 

Well, me?

 

Holding down the fort.

 

Uh....

 

I'll see if she's still here.

 

- It's Mr. Haines. He's on the phone.
- Oh.

 

Tell him I'm not here.

 

I'm a bad liar. If I were any better,
I'd be embezzling from you.

 

I don't wanna talk to him. I'm busy.

 

Okay, look, I'm the housekeeper.

 

I cook, I clean, I run errands
and that's it.

 

I'm not your secretary.
I'm not your mother.

 

I'm not your pal. I'm not involved.

 

Now, you get over here
and take care of your business.

 

Hello, Stephen.

 

I haven't talked to the appraiser.
I'll do it next week.

 

MAGGlE:
Let's go. Get out of here, come on.

 

Oh.

 

Well, I'm sure she'd love
to carve a pumpkin with you.

 

Well, thank you for the invitation,
but I think you two are....

 

You'd be better off on your own.

 

Because I wouldn't have the first idea
how to be around you right now, Stephen.

 

No, I already told you, it's over.
No marriage counselor.

 

I'll have Molly call you.

 

Oh, sweetie.

 

Oh, I am so sorry.

 

I didn't mean for you to hear that.

 

[ANSWERlNG MACHlNE BEEPS]

 

SYLVlE [ON RECORDlNG] :
Mary, I know you're there.

 

Why won 't you return my calls?

 

We have to talk about this.

 

[ANSWERlNG MACHlNE BEEPS]

 

SYLVlE: Hey, it's bad form
to screen calls, Mary. Pick up.

 

Pick up.

 

- May I help you?
- Ahh!

 

What do you think you're doing...

 

...sneaking up on me like that?

 

What are you doing
casing the house like a Jehovah ' s Witness?

 

I am looking for Mary, okay?

 

I've left her a lot of messages,
and she hasn't called me.

 

- She's not here.
- Where is she?

 

Out of town.

 

- What about Molly?
- Molly is at school.

 

That's where the kids go
during the week.

 

Heh, heh. Cute.

 

Are we done? I have a lot to do.

 

Besides, your Pradas
are wrecking my perennials.

 

It's Jason.

 

- Are you serious?
- Yeah.

 

Ask him if he likes me.

 

No, you.

 

MOLLY:
Oh, man.

 

Who's that?

 

One of my mom's friends.

 

- You'd better go.
- Okay, well, see you later.

 

MOLLY:
See you.

 

Hey.

 

Small world, isn't it?

 

So why aren't you in school?

 

I didn't feel like it today.

 

Huh.

 

So this is kind of a new look
for you, huh?

 

I leave the house in my uniform.

 

And then after school,
I change into the stuff I hid in my backpack.

 

A lot of the girls do it.

 

Oh.

 

Clever.

 

You wouldn't happen
to have a cigarette, would you?

 

Thanks.

 

Hey.

 

- Does your mom know you smoke?
- No.

 

And don't tell her.

 

I do it so I won't eat.

 

Your weight is fine.

 

I hate my body.

 

I wanna look like the models
in your magazine.

 

Nobody looks like those girls, okay?

 

Not even them.

 

They're all airbrushed and retouched.

 

Then why don't you just put
regular people in there?

 

I know it's hypocritical.
Life is complicated.

 

Yeah, I'm just starting to figure that out.

 

Do you wanna talk about it?

 

No.

 

Okay.

 

How old were you when you had sex?

 

Thirty.

 

It was horrible. It hurt like hell.

 

And it was totally embarrassing...

 

...because we had no idea
what we were doing.

 

We were up in his room one night.

 

Big Farrah Fawcett poster
staring down on the bed.

 

Star Wars sheets, it was....

 

It was just tragic.

 

I didn't have sex again
for a really long time.

 

But then I met somebody,
and it was worth the wait.

 

[LAUGHlNG]

 

We were crazy for each other.

 

And then magically,
and it was all really easy.

 

Basically, you're telling me exactly
what my mother would say...

 

...if I could even ask her.

 

Don't have sex until you're in love.

 

No.

 

No, I've had pretty great sex
just for the hell of it.

 

I won't lie to you.

 

But there's no sex like the kind
you have when you love somebody...

 

...and they love you back.

 

You'd make the coolest mother.

 

Really? No, I wouldn't.

 

Really?

 

I don't know,
kids don't seem to take to me.

 

You'd be a great mom.

 

Not like mine.

 

I can be in the same room with her,
and it's like she's not even there.

 

Listen to me, Molly.
I know you're going through a tough time.

 

And if there's anything you ever
wanna talk about, just call me, okay?

 

Promise you'll call me.

 

Tell me you promise.

 

I promise.

 

SYLVlE:
Okay.

 

So where is your mom, anyway?

 

HELENE: All right, everyone,
take a deep, cleansing breath.

 

Look around.

 

Respect the power of nature.

 

This is why you have come to the Camp.

 

Let it heal you.

 

So divorce?

 

How many?

 

LEAH:
Hold on, I'm coming.

 

Don't start without me.

 

Oh, my God. I'm sorry.

 

[CHUCKLlNG]

 

I'm just not used to getting up at the crack
of frigging dawn. Excuse my French.

 

Is this the time you always start?

 

Because I'm pretty sure
the lake will still be here at noon.

 

We always canoe at dawn.

 

I always fake my orgasms.
That doesn't make it right.

 

HELENE:
Let's go.

 

Lift.

 

Swing.

 

- Hoist.
WOMAN: Oh, God.

 

LEAH:
You've got to be kidding.

 

Turn.

 

March.

 

MARY:
Oh, please. God.

 

- Forget it.
- Oh!

 

I already tried it.

 

Oh, you scared me.

 

And how bad an idea was this
in a place with a padlocked refrigerator?

 

[CHUCKLlNG]

 

MARY: Leah, right?
LEAH: Right.

 

Mary. I mean, I am just so hungry.

 

I'm starving. You need the Hubble
Telescope to see what they put on our plate.

 

This place makes Betty Ford
look like Disneyland.

 

And I ought to know.

 

I ran screaming out of Betty twice.

 

Look at that.

 

Oh, no. No, thank you.

 

How did you get that in here?
They even took away my Altoids.

 

I made friends with Buck, the ranger boy.

 

Another-- Guess what.

 

--aspiring actor.

 

I thought I had left them
all behind in la-la land.

 

You know, where your dentist
is writing a screenplay...

 

...and your gardener's playing Willy Loman
down at a dinner theater in Torrance.

 

He got me the joint, I took his headshot.

 

Are you an agent?

 

What do you think?

 

- How long have you been an agent?
- Oh, since 1852.

 

At lCM, they call me the Countess.

 

I can turn anybody into a star,
even our little ranger boy.

 

And why not? Look at him, he's so cute.

 

He's cute, I'm bored,
my guesthouse is empty.

 

Who knows, he could turn out
to be the next Michael Douglas.

 

Another dirtbag who left me, by the way.

 

So, what are you in for?

 

Oh, well, I just ran away from home.

 

I got fired from all my jobs.
Wife, mother, daughter.

 

And I broke up with my best friend,
which, you know, that was the worst.

 

- I just bailed out of husband number four.
- Four?

 

- No, five.
- Five?

 

I keep blocking one of them out
because he tried to kill me.

 

- What?
- We were on a ski lift in Aspen and I "fell."

 

- What did you do?
- Oh, believe me, I took care of him.

 

By the time I was done...

 

...there was nothing left but the hair plugs
and the asphalt on the driveway.

 

[LAUGHlNG]

 

- Ooh, shh. Shh.
- What?

 

- Why do you keep getting married?
- Oh.

 

[SPEAKS lN FRENCH]

 

In the end, that's really all there is.

 

Okay. All right, give me that thing.

 

Haven't done this
since I was a freshman in college.

 

I ate an entire tube of toothpaste.

 

Wait.

 

Okay.

 

All right.

 

All right, here's the thing.

 

I'm just a good person, you know.
I just am.

 

I really try to do the right thing, I do.
I try to--

 

You know, I let the person
with the one item go ahead of me...

 

...in the grocery line.

 

I give money to homeless people.
I recycle.

 

I never cheat.

 

Okay, well, once, I cheated.

 

- Really?
- Yeah.

 

I was playing Monopoly.

 

I was the little top hat,
and I moved it a couple extra spaces there.

 

But I was just a kid,
so that probably doesn't count.

 

So why am I going on and on about this?
What was my point here?

 

Oh, boy, a talker.

 

I'm gonna have to figure this out,
you know.

 

I am.

 

I gotta figure out why...

 

...at this particular juncture,
my whole world has come tumbling down.

 

Can you not bogart that, please?
Thank you.

 

I've spent an entire lifetime
trying to be everything to everyone...

 

...and somehow,
somebody is always disappointed.

 

You know, my dear, sometimes
there's a reason why people's paths cross.

 

Let me give you
Leah Miller's secret to life.

 

Don't give a shit about anybody.

 

Be selfish.

 

Because once you ask yourself
the question, "What about me? "...

 

...everything changes for the better.

 

I mean, after all, who are you?

 

What do you want, Mary?

 

Oh. Excuse me.

 

Excuse me.

 

Hi, I'm looking for my mother,
Catherine Frazier.

 

How's she doing?

 

She's still in some pain,
but that's to be expected.

 

She's in there.

 

- Oh, thank you.
- Right there.

 

NURSE: lt'd be nice
up in your room at this time....

 

Mom?

 

Mm-mm.

 

WOMAN: Nurse.
NURSE: Get you something for the pain.

 

- Mom?
WOMAN: No.

 

Mary.

 

Over here.

 

Oh, Mom. Does it hurt?

 

I just spent thousands of dollars
to look rested.

 

Of course it hurts.

 

You look great.

 

Oh, thank you, thank you.

 

I just can't believe you did this.

 

Have you looked around lately?

 

There are no 60-year-old women.

 

I was the only one left.

 

No, Mom,
I'm happy you did what you wanted to do.

 

Really, really.
What have you always said to me?

 

Don't look back, no regrets.

 

I'm so full of shit.

 

I have plenty of regrets.

 

I regret I never accomplished
anything of my own.

 

I was ambivalent.

 

And frankly, I wanted things.

 

A big house, beautiful clothes.

 

It was easier to get status from your father
than to get it for myself.

 

I know I failed you in a lot of ways,
Mary.

 

But probably none more than that.

 

No, Mom.

 

Do you wanna have
a little bit of tea there?

 

Thanks.

 

Well, I've been thinking
about going back to work.

 

Not for Dad.

 

I wanna design my own collection.

 

Whoa.

 

- What brought that on?
- Hitting bottom.

 

Having nothing left to lose.
I highly recommend it.

 

If it wouldn't blow out 80 stitches,
I'd be smiling now.

 

I don't wanna take on
more than I can handle.

 

Just a small collection.

 

- Where are you gonna get the money?
- I'll find some backers.

 

- What about my inheritance?
- Oh, no, Mom.

 

I never did anything with it.

 

What could be a better investment
than you?

 

No, that's not why I came here.

 

Oh, please. I'm in no condition to argue.

 

[CHUCKLES]

 

You know something?

 

Someday, when I'm sitting here
with my head in a helmet...

 

...I hope my daughter has as much love
for me as I do for you right now.

 

Huh.

 

You are even more full of shit than I am.

 

Yeah.

 

[CHATTERlNG]

 

Ned, please, um.

 

I know.

 

It's not the strongest issue I've turned out,
but next month is a whole different story.

 

Bailey Smith is writing a profile
on Christiane Amanpour...

 

...and Alex Fisher is getting me
some advanced material on her- -

 

Ned, you can't do this.

 

Nobody turns a magazine around
in under a year.

 

Just give me three more issues, okay?

 

I have got this great idea.

 

How about we do a whole issue
on revenge?

 

How to get it...

 

...who to stick it to...

 

...the lost art of holding a grudge.

 

How to construct the perfect rumor.

 

The 10 best random acts of getting even.

 

And we'll put a hot young actress
on the cover.

 

Yes.

 

Thank you.

 

Yeah, I think it'll be brilliant too.

 

Okay, then.

 

I'll see you in the morning.

 

Hello?

 

Hello?

 

Molly?

 

Where is everybody?
Where is everybody?

 

MAGGlE:
Here.

 

Hey. Oh, Maggie.

 

All that fabric from ltaly?
The whole dye lot was off.

 

I had to completely recut a pattern
and the fit model didn't show up.

 

But it is going to be good.
Maggie, it's gonna be so good.

 

- Where's Molly?
- She's out there.

 

What is she doing?

 

Well, she says
she doesn't want to be a woman.

 

Hey, Mol.

 

Wow.

 

You've got quite a little bonfire
going there.

 

I started it off with the slenders
and now I'm adding the supers.

 

That's the trick.

 

Wouldn't it be just great if when
you're born, they give you a rulebook...

 

...so every time you came up against
something you had no idea how to handle...

 

...you just look it up in the book
and there would be the answer?

 

You know,
I used to feel sorry for the kids in my class.

 

Every other weekend with Dad
until Mommy's boyfriend sleeps over...

 

...then Dad gets you two in a row.

 

I used to feel sorry for them.

 

Now I'm one of them.

 

Listen, Molly,
I know that I haven't been here for you.

 

And I'm very sorry about that.
We have a lot to talk about.

 

I can't talk to you like I talk to Sylvie.

 

- You've been talking to Sylvie?
- She's been helping me.

 

Well, I wanna help you.
Why won't you let me help you?

 

Because all you'll do is tell me
that everything is going to be fine...

 

...and it's not.

 

Dad's living in an apartment
that barely has any furniture.

 

That Crystal woman
is coming over all the time.

 

She doesn't even call first.

 

Then she leaves stuff behind.

 

A dress, a purse.

 

I don't think
he even really likes her that much.

 

He's just lonely.

 

He misses you.

 

Molly, I can't.

 

I just can't.

 

I know, I remember.

 

I used to watch you get ready
to go out with Dad.

 

And you'd let me put on your dresses
and your high heels...

 

...and draw on some lipstick.

 

I wanted to be you.

 

I'm gonna go call Sylvie.

 

Hey.

 

- Hey.
- Mary.

 

I wanna know
what you're talking to my daughter about.

 

I promised her I wouldn't discuss it.

 

She's having emotional problems,
now you decide to be discreet?

 

I thought she needed a safe place.

 

I'm the safe place, okay?
That is my job, not yours.

 

I'm the mother, not you.

 

- She said she loves me.
- Yeah, you never have to say no.

 

You show me the stretch marks,
and you can do all the mothering you want.

 

And what is this, casual Friday?
It's Wednesday.

 

Yeah, I know.

 

- What's wrong?
- Nothing.

 

- Something.
- Look, let's just drop it, okay?

 

I didn't mean to cause problems.
I was just trying to help.

 

Don't you ever get tired of saying that?

 

How dare you reprimand me for stepping in
where you should have been all along.

 

You have not been there
for your daughter, Mary.

 

You've not been there for anybody.

 

You're not willing to face the hard stuff.

 

Don't you criticize me.
Let me ask you something.

 

Now that Molly trusts you,
are you gonna betray her like you did me?

 

Do you have any idea
how hard it is to be your friend?

 

I tried to make it up to you.
What more do you want?

 

I wanna know
how you can sell out your best friend.

 

I hope that job is worth it, Sylvie,
because it's all you've got.

 

I quit my job.

 

- What?
- What else could I do?

 

I was making terrible compromises.

 

I can't believe you quit.

 

How could I be so out of whack
that I sold out my best friend?

 

You were in an impossible situation.
Of course you'd wanna keep your job.

 

It's what you do, and you're great at it.

 

It's nothing compared
to being responsible for a child.

 

- I don't know how you do it.
- Come on, I'm a terrible mother.

 

Look what I'm passing down
from my own.

 

I can't even talk to my own daughter
about sex.

 

Well, it's easy for me.
I wasn't there changing her diapers.

 

- I mean--
- I know, you are helping me out.

 

You're doing me a really big favor.
Thank you very much.

 

Goddamn it. Thank you.

 

Anything I can do.

 

You have a huge job, huge.

 

I'm so glad I never had children.

 

That's the last impermissible thing
you can say at a party.

 

That you don't want children.

 

Well, I'm gonna have a dinner party
and then you can say that.

 

Oh, my God, I'm exhausted.

 

We're a mess.

 

I like your hair, though.

 

[LAUGHlNG]

 

[SlGHlNG]

 

You know what?
I got my divorce papers today.

 

Oh.

 

All I have to do is sign,
and I can't seem to be able to find a pen.

 

Mary, look, it's the 21st century.

 

It's okay for people
to fight for their relationships.

 

[SNlFFLlNG]

 

You know what this feels like?

 

It feels like
that phantom limb syndrome.

 

You know that thing where you lose a part
of your body, like an arm or something...

 

...but you still have the sensation
that it's there.

 

Well, you know,
I'm sure Stephen feels the same way.

 

Oh, no,
I'm not talking about Stephen and me.

 

I'm talking about you and me.

 

[CRYlNG]

 

Fan out.

 

Hi, remember me?

 

TANYA: Oh, Mrs. Haines.
- My nails are a mess.

 

But why wouldn't they be,
with what I've been through?

 

- Do you have time?
- No problem.

 

It's the least I could do.

 

- Mary?
MARY: Sylvie.

 

Oh, hi, how have you been?

 

MARY: Oh, fantastic.
SYLVlE: I just had the most fabulous facial.

 

So how's it going with you-know-who?

 

Oh, absolutely fantastic,
like we never skipped a beat.

 

And the sex is just off the charts.

 

I am so jealous.

 

It's the whole sneaking-around thing
that gives it its yummy edge.

 

There's nothing like having an affair
with your estranged husband...

 

...to put the spark back in things.

 

- Oh.
- Oops.

 

Oh, my God, I'm such an idiot.

 

I better go,
before I put my foot in it again.

 

Great seeing you, Mary.

 

- Call me, okay?
MARY: Sure.

 

Well, that was awkward.
You don't still see Crystal, do you?

 

You have to forget what you just heard.

 

My life's been complicated enough
this year.

 

It's all safe with me.

 

- Now, have you decided on a color?
- Yes.

 

Jungle Red.

 

Are you sure, Tanya?

 

Oh, God, I can't believe he's seeing her
behind my back.

 

I'm practically living with the man.

 

Doesn't anybody respect rules anymore?

 

My father's taking me home now.

 

God almighty, you scared me.

 

I gotta go.

 

MOLLY: He said I should say good night.
- Oh, well, come give me a little kiss.

 

- That's okay.
- Oh, come on.

 

We just spent
the whole weekend together.

 

It's hot in here and I have my coat on.

 

All right. Well, good night.

 

- Good night.
CRYSTAL: Uh....

 

Good night, who?

 

- I asked you to call me Aunt Crystal.
- I don't want to.

 

Hey, you know, I have bent over backwards
to be nice to you.

 

I fixed up your room,
I made you that amazing dinner.

 

Who screws up macaroni and cheese?

 

That's not the point.
The point is that I make an effort.

 

Why don't you make an effort?
What's your problem?

 

I don't like you.

 

Come on.
What kind of stupid answer is that?

 

Everybody likes me.

 

What would your father say
if he heard you talking to me like this?

 

I don't think he cares.

 

Why, what'd you hear? What'd he say?

 

Nothing.

 

Oh, by the way,
I won't be here next Friday.

 

My mother's having a fashion show.

 

Yeah, it's something she's always
wanted to do, and now she's doing it.

 

My father thinks it's great.

 

He finds the whole thing
kind of sexy, in a way.

 

You know, a woman
coming into her own and all that.

 

At least that's what I heard him say.

 

Well, enjoy your bath.

 

Stephen!

 

I don't know what they do in your country,
but you don't throw the tinsel in clumps.

 

We place it. We place it.

 

Okay, I'm ready to go.

 

MAGGlE:
Oh, my God.

 

This is it, the big day.

 

Look at you.

 

I don't know how you are
so calm and collected.

 

- You must be freaking out inside.
- Uta.

 

No, I'm really okay.
I always imagined myself doing this.

 

I guess I just stood in my own way,
you know?

 

Listen, kiddo.

 

It doesn't matter what happens tonight.

 

What counts is that you showed up.

 

I always knew
there was someone else inside of you.

 

Thank you, Maggie.

 

You know, I just love you.

 

Okay. Here I go.

 

I'm going.
And, Uta, you'll drop Molly in an hour.

 

- Yup.
- All right.

 

Maggie, can it be?

 

Are you involved?

 

Oh, shut up.

 

Here, decorate.

 

You should be on the Discovery Channel.

 

WOMAN 1 : It's got too much blue.
We gotta get her a different....

 

WOMAN 2:
I see that. Just give me a second.

 

WOMAN 1:
All right.

 

- Mary.
- Hey.

 

- Excuse me just a second.
- Mom, can you believe the turnout?

 

All the best boutiques are here.
If I throw up, will you hold my hair?

 

It's going to be great.

 

By the way,
your father stopped by earlier...

 

...and said to tell you
he didn't think you had this kind of talent.

 

- Fantastic.
- Don't be bitter. It leads to Botox.

 

Listen, I'm not sure about
the opening sequence of the show.

 

And I think you need to reconsider
where you place the coats.

 

Mom,
when you said you'd underwrite me...

 

...I didn't think it meant
that you'd be popping by...

 

...every five minutes
with helpful suggestions.

 

But you said you'd value my input.

 

That's what you say when you take a lot
of money from someone, Mom.

 

Nobody ever means it.
Now, go find a seat.

 

Just take a look at those coats again.

 

Skinny.

 

WOMAN 3: Don't bother Mary.
WOMAN 4: Okay.

 

Hey. Oh, honey, what are these?

 

They just came.

 

They're from Dad.

 

They're from Dad?

 

Hey, hey. Fingers crossed for me, okay?

 

Okay.

 

- Mom?
- Yeah.

 

This is really cool.

 

WOMAN 5:
Excuse me.

 

Hi, Edie.

 

You look very rested, Catherine.

 

[MUSlC PLAYlNG OVER SPEAKERS]

 

[lNAUDlBLE]

 

[PEOPLE CLAPPlNG]

 

[CAMERAS CLlCKlNG]

 

[WHOOPlNG]

 

[MOUTHlNG]
Thank you.

 

Oh, Mary, I am so proud of you.

 

Okay, Mom.

 

Everything was beautiful.

 

Okay, Mom.

 

I guess I'm just living a little vicariously.

 

Maybe even jealous.
A little competitive.

 

- Mom, more than I need to know.
- Okay.

 

I'll take Molly home.

 

SYLVlE:
Mary.

 

Mary.

 

All right, tell it to me straight.
What did you think?

 

It was transforming.

 

But it doesn't matter what I think.
This is the lady whose opinion counts.

 

Glenda Hill, meet Mary Haines.

 

This is the head buyer
from Saks Fifth Avenue.

 

GLENDA: Hello.
- Oh.

 

Wow, I didn't realize you were coming.

 

Well, I don't ordinarily crash fashion shows,
but Sylvie called me, insisted that I come.

 

Said I'd be missing something if I didn't,
and she was right.

 

Really? Really?

 

I don't know what to say.

 

It's a small collection,
but I find it fresh and forward.

 

I assume you'd be open to some changes
for the Saks customer.

 

Hemline here, maybe a jacket there.

 

Saks Fifth Avenue
is gonna order my clothes?

 

Well,
we'll start with the New York store...

 

...and if the clothes do well,
we'll expand to all 59 stores.

 

And of course,
we need everything shipped by spring.

 

Are you geared up for that?

 

I think she's a little shell-shocked.

 

- Would you mind if I think about it?
- Think about it?

 

Well, don't think too long.

 

SYLVlE: What do you have to think?
- I have to think about it.

 

- What is there to think about?
EDlE: Mary.

 

It was so amazing,
and we're so proud of you.

 

And I am so sorry that I won't be able
to stay longer to help you celebrate.

 

But my water just broke.

 

What?

 

[EDlE GROANlNG]

 

- Are we in the right place?
- Are you all right?

 

- Hang in there.
- Here comes another contraction.

 

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, God.

 

The contractions
are only a couple of minutes apart.

 

Every baby comes faster
than the one before.

 

- My last one came in just two hours.
- It's okay.

 

Excuse me, our friend is having a baby.

 

We need a room now,
so we need you guys to hurry up.

 

- Does she have insurance?
- She doesn't need insurance.

 

Have four, get the fifth one free.
Get her a room.

 

Oh, I feel another one coming. Ah!

 

- Another one.
- They're a minute apart.

 

One minute? She's got a minute.

 

- She's got a minute.
NURSE: Okay.

 

I'll take you right to the delivery room.
And who's the birth coach?

 

- I am.
- Oh, no, no, I want Alex to do it.

 

- What, me?
- I think it'll be a good experience for you.

 

Don't worry, I'll help you through it.

 

- Oh, oh.
- Oh, my God.

 

This is gonna be a big baby.

 

Don't point that thing at me, Edie.
It's loaded.

 

Come on, honey. Come on.

 

Let's go.

 

Glenda Hill? She is an arbiter of taste.

 

She's a big deal.
Why didn't you jump on that?

 

- I don't think I want such a big order.
- You don't wanna be a success?

 

Depends on how you define it.

 

I mean, I would be very happy
with just a little boutique business.

 

And I have a daughter
who really needs me.

 

Your daughter looked at you today
in a new way.

 

You gave her a mother who got something
for herself. That's important.

 

Remember when they said
we couldn't have it all?

 

We can have it all.
The question is, do we want it?

 

I don't want it all.
I just want a nice piece of it.

 

I don't want it all either,
because it's exhausting.

 

We can handle anything.
We'll be each other's wives.

 

Do you know how loveable you are,
Sylvie Fowler?

 

Do you have any idea
how loveable you are?

 

Funny you say that, because I met a guy.

 

- You met a guy?
- Yeah.

 

I'm thinking of giving him
my real phone number.

 

- How did it feel?
- Oh, I don't know.

 

- I think it was because--
- No, no, no.

 

No thinking. How did it feel?

 

I felt like-- I felt like--

 

I couldn't talk. I had butterflies.

 

Like that time I found my dog
at the pound.

 

- Aw.
- We're very close. You better come inside.

 

[EDlE GROANlNG]

 

I want my husband!

 

Where the hell is that schmuck?

 

ALEX:
He's coming, for crying out loud!

 

You are not doing the breathing right.
What is so complicated?

 

It's like this:

 

Somebody get here
before her head spins off.

 

I've got your back.

 

MARY: It's okay.
- Hey, is that Jungle Red?

 

- Okay.
SYLVlE: Nice.

 

MARY: Focus on my voice.
Focus right on my voice.

 

Focus on my voice.

 

- Here comes another contraction.
MARY: Okay, now, Edie, use it.

 

Use it, Edie, just use it.

 

[GROANlNG]

 

I am never having sex again.
Sew me up right now.

 

Okay, so you got through that one, honey,
you got through that one.

 

- How's she doing?
- We're a couple pushes away.

 

- This baby has a big head.
- Oh, can you see it?

 

Oh, God, it's the head.

 

[CELL PHONE CHlMlNG]

 

ALEX:
Okay, okay, okay.

 

It's me, it's me.

 

Hello. Stephen?

 

DOCTOR: A strong one is coming.
- Mary, Mary.

 

Oh, okay. Hold on, okay.

 

Edie, see that Christmas tree?

 

Just focus on that Christmas tree
and send all your pain right there.

 

[GROANlNG]

 

DOCTOR:
That was a good one.

 

I'm not gonna make it. Oh, God.

 

Edie's having a baby.
Can I call you back?

 

No, don't hang up. Talk to him.

 

- Alex, I just--!
- Oh, my God.

 

MARY: He wants to go on a date.
- Good.

 

Good? I don't think
I can get past everything.

 

You can get past it, just like Alan did.

 

- What? Whoa, back up.
- Come on.

 

Oh, don't look so shocked.

 

Five years ago. It just happened.

 

When Alan found out,
it nearly killed him.

 

And that nearly killed me.
But he forgave me.

 

Not right away, but he did.

 

And you know why?
Because he's a good man.

 

He knew I loved him.

 

And I love him and he loves me.

 

And we love the kids.

 

And now I'm gonna stop
because I am so exhausted...

 

...and I want this kid out of me
right now.

 

Get it out!

 

Okay, Stephen, here it is, here it is.
I'm gonna own up to my part in all this.

 

How could I share myself with you
if I had no idea who I was?

 

I want things now that I've put aside,
and I'm gonna get them...

 

...and anybody who is a part of my life
is gonna have to want those things for me.

 

But this is gonna be hard.

 

This is hard work
because trust doesn't happen overnight.

 

And if you can accept all of that,
I will see you Tuesday at 8.

 

That's all I have available, I'm very busy.

 

- We're crowning.
- I gotta go.

 

Okay, ladies.

 

Get her shoulders, get her knees.

 

- Her shoulders and her knees.
- Okay.

 

- One more push, Edie.
EDlE: Here we go.

 

[SCREAMlNG]

 

[BABY CRYlNG]

 

Congratulations.

 

It's a boy.

 

ALEX: Oh, my gosh, Edie.
MARY: You did it.

 

- You did it.
ALEX: I did.

 

[CRYlNG]

 

I did it.

 

Edie had a baby.

 

[YELLlNG THEN LAUGHlNG]

 

So beautiful.

 

Look at you. You have a boy.

 

Oh, my goodness.

 

Hi, little boy.

 

[WHlSPERlNG]

 

- Hello, little baby.
- Sweet boy.

 

I think real beauty is real authenticity.

 

And it's pretty much as simple as that.

 

I think a sense of humor
is really a beautiful thing.

 

People become beautiful
when you feel their confidence.

 

Because the beautiful thing about being
a woman is that we are so many things.

 

Honestly, it takes some cultivation
to know who you are...

 

...with all the mixed messages
and different kind of cultural demands...

 

...of who you should be.

 

Be kind to yourself.

 

Because I promise you,
it will come and it will evolve...

 

...and you will see just how spectacular
your "differences" are.

 

Being a woman is a gift.

 

[ENGLlSH SDH]